"Everything that is really great and inspiring is created by the individual who can labor in freedom" Albert Einstein

"A dame who knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up." Mae West

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Wacky Wednesday Wisdom

Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics.  ~Author Unknown

They will talk about you later:

"I had a patient who had an overwhelming desire to eat phone books. Not all in one piece but page by page until it was all in. He was always coming in with bowel obstructions."

"The lady started to move uncomfortable on the bed so the nurse pulled her over to see if she needed cleaned up; well, it wasn't BM that was "smiling" at her, but the woman's upper denture!  She evidently had it stuffed almost all the way in!"

"A guy was brought in from a local disco club. Seems he had danced around so much that he passed out. When he came in, he had on those skin tight PVC pants and the "bulge" was huge. The pants were so tight that they had to be cut off him.( He was still unconscious at this point.) After cutting the pants off, we discovered what the huge bulge really was!! He had taped an Italian sausage to his thigh!!!! "


white rabbit said...

I once shared a house with a doctor who told me an attractive young woman once attended Accident & Emergency with a knitting needle lodged in an unmentionable place. She cheerfully and without an ounce of embarrassment confessed to having got it stuck there while in engaging in an activity Christine O'Donnell would not approve of.

Don't think I can put it any more delicately than that. Well done me for decorum.

Catch Her in the Wry said...

white: My medical friends are full of wonderful humorous stories (no names of course). They always liven up a dinner party.

Unknown said...

Ooh Ooh, me next! When training at a military ER in the early 90's, a young man was brought in on a gurney on his knees. After being examined by the physician on duty, I was asked to take a good history and physical. Seems this lad was on his honeymoon and his much older (and sexually adventurous) bride had let a...personal massager...slip a little too deep. A trip to the operating room was warranted and I'm certain the night unforgettable for the lustful couple. I know I'll not forget the "HUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM" I heard when I placed my stethoscope on the small of his back.