"Everything that is really great and inspiring is created by the individual who can labor in freedom" Albert Einstein

"A dame who knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up." Mae West

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Sex Ed

I have always assumed that every woman has been sexually accosted and/or harassed, in some way or other, at some point in her life. Not a pretty fact, but a disgusting part of life when the world is filled with some men who just think with the wrong head.

I am not talking about headline type incidents. I'm speaking of those smaller private events that happen to throw you off guard in the normal course of going about your daily business. I'm sure every woman has at least one story. Below is a sampling from my own life:

late teens
During a casual, unprovoked, unprovocative conversation, a former college star basketball player intentionally poured a pitcher of beer down the front of my white shirt hoping for a peep show

As I crossed through a crowded room, a male grabbed me in the crouch when I passed him

Someone I had known for years and dated for a few months wanted me to have sex with him. I said no - numerous times. He pinned me to the wall and did it anyway.

When I went into the storage room of my office on a Saturday, the janitor grabbed my breasts with both hands

As we walked down the hill from the Parthenon in Greece, a man grinned at my friend and me and then he furiously masturbated and flung his seed in a 5 foot semi-circle around him

Here's how I handled the situations. You'll have to figure out which reaction fits which occurrence:

I laughed.
I cried.
I walked away.
I told him he'd be fired if he ever did that again.
I grabbed his balls and gave a twist.

I should not have taken matters into my own hands. I should have reported the incidents to authorities.

These types of incidents in my life have been waning in recent years. Is it that these kinds of men are finally getting it because of all the media attention, HR education, and pressure from women's groups? Or is it simply that wrinkles offer some protection?

Addendum: I previously posted about an experience in my 50's: Tattle Tale

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Mixed (up) Media

My annoyances with the media reached a new height this week:

1. Network news reporter: "There was less military troops..."

2. Local tv news reporter: "Now...now....now...now...now..." 20 times in 45 seconds

3. Local tv news anchor another station: "Stu-dents (accent on 2nd syllable) are going back to school." The #1 area news anchor still hasn't learned how to speak correctly.

4. Local commercial for monument company: " They are kno-wen for..."

5. Local area newspaper featuring retirement of local official: information wrong in three different paragraphs

Where are these people getting their media college degrees? Someone needs to teach them how to speak correct English and to get their facts straight.

Friday, August 8, 2008

Home Sweet Homes

My latest blog favorite comes from the category of "Why didn't I think of this?".

This blog features actual really bad pictures from internet real estate listings. You have to wonder about the people marketing these homes. When I sold real estate, I was in many properties that looked just like these disasters. That's when a Realtor has to get very creative with language.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Aliens crossing the border

I hope my daughter doesn't mind me sharing this.

She and her husband attended a wedding party in Canada recently. They flew to New York and drove two hours into Ontario for the festivities.

Border crossing (into Canada) conversation:

Canadian Border Guard: Why are you coming to Canada?
SIL & Daughter: To attend a wedding. Well, it's not actually a wedding. It's a reception since they got married somewhere else.
CBG: And where's the wedding?
SIL & Daughter: _____, Ontario
CBG: And what hotel/motel are you staying in there?
SIL & Daughter: Well, we're not actually staying in ____; we're staying in ______, Ontario.
CBG: And just why are you staying there and not in ____ where the reception is?
SIL & Daughter: Well, all the motels were full so that's the closest place we could find a motel room.
CBG: So, do you have anything to declare?
SIL & Daughter: No.
CBG: You mean you don't have a wedding present to declare for this reception you say you're going to?
SIL & Daughter: No, they didn't want presents, just a donation to a charity.
CBG: And just what charity did you donate to for your wedding gift?
SIL & Daughter: An elephant sanctuary in Tennessee.

Despite the true, but implausible answers, the CBG allowed them into the country where they had a fantastic time with their elephant loving friends. There was no problem getting back into the US.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Case closed.

Never underestimate the tenacity of a woman. The lid has been shut on the case of the missing garbage can part.