"Everything that is really great and inspiring is created by the individual who can labor in freedom" Albert Einstein

"A dame who knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up." Mae West

Monday, December 29, 2008

Presentation is the key

Facebook is learning the hard way never to argue with new mothers. The raging hormone levels continue long after birth and there's no way to combat women in heat.

Yes, nursing a baby is not porn and is a natural part of life. After all, the mammary glands were designed primarily for that purpose and not simply for entertaining the opposite sex.

Defecation, urination, flatulence, belching, and having sexual intercourse are also natural parts of life, but civilized societies have learned to instill some modesty when it comes to those innate actions.

Exposing or posting a picture in public of one's nipple, regardless if a baby or adult mouth is near it, is a repugnant act to anyone with any sense of gentility. When breasts are presented with an in-your-face attitude at a social gathering (cyber or live), it is pornographic and is best left to the privacy of the bedroom.

There is something beautiful about a mother nursing a newborn, but it is most seraphic when it is done discretely, quietly, and intimately, and not made a public spectacle on a social networking site.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

The Ultimate Regifting


Friday, December 19, 2008

A little education on etiquette

As someone with a different last name than my spouse, I am constantly annoyed at this time of year when I receive holiday cards addressed incorrectly. It seems that relatives. on my side of the family in particular, just don't seem to know proper etiquette. So here's a review for them and any one else who just can't get over that two people can be married and have different names or titles.

If the husband and wife have different last names, address the card to Mr. John Brown with Ms. Mary Smith directly below. Do not hyphenate their last names unless they are legally known as Smith-Brown or Brown-Smith.

If the husband and wife have the same last names, address the card to Mr. and Mrs. John Brown.

If the husband and wife have the same title (i.e. medical doctor), address the card to Dr. John Brown and Dr. Mary Smith or The Doctors Brown (if both have the same last name). Do not address the card to Dr. and Mrs. John Brown.

If the wife has a title, address the card to Mr. John Brown and Dr. Mary Smith, or Mr. John Brown and Dr. Mary Brown, but not Mr. and Dr. John Brown.

If the wife has a higher rank (i.e. military), her name should be first.

Now, how hard is that?

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

I bet it's the target audience

Jay Leno is staying with NBC and moving to an every night gig in prime time. In addition to financial savings and keeping him from jumping ship, NBC surely knows that Leno's audience has more gray hairs than the other late night hosts. This will bring prime time ratings to a new high and allow more hours of sleep to his audience. Good decision by NBC in my opinion.

Politics as Usual

Here we go again. Another Illinois governor in trouble. I believe that is four Illinois governors with records in my lifetime.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

If you think it's about cooking, you'd be wrong

These are our tools of the trade. When used correctly, they have consistently performed the task successfully.

The tongs were a new addition to the cookie sheet and baking pan in our latest venture. The critter was hiding in a corner, with the cat on the ground licking its chops. My former technique of placing the baking pan over it and sliding the cookie sheet under it as a lid, trapping the thing, just wouldn't work. So the long-handled barbecue tongs came in handy. One of us squeezed the thing and placed it in the pan, while I was in charge of quickly placing the cookie sheet over it as a temporary lid. We walked with equipment in hand to the door and let it go. You can't kill these things, they are too good for the environment:
My very first experience with a bat in the house occurred at my parents' house a couple decades ago. It was Christmas Eve and we were all opening presents in front of the fireplace, when a bat swooped out of the garland draped on the mantel. After flying the length of the living room and back several times and appropriately scaring the crap out of everyone, it finally rested quietly on a wall. Being the creative and bravest one in the family, I grabbed the above equipment and was successful in relocating it on the first try.

Ten years later, a bat appeared in my own house. I used the same equipment as before and it worked quite well again. This is now the third time we've been successful, so I am offering this special technique to you free of charge, but it's a do-it-yourself project, because I don't make house calls.

I thought about changing equipment this time and instead use a golf club like my blog friend, but baking pan, cookie sheet and tongs don't make holes in the wall or splatter blood everywhere.

I live in a grand old home so I suppose I should expect problems like this will arise periodically, but my house is looks much, much different than this:

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Of course I know better

I just re-read my post from a couple days ago and noticed that I used the words "of course" twice. Arrrgh! I'm always catching myself doing that and I can only blame the exposure I had in my youth to weekly chants of the earworm that remains lodged in my head:

Monday, December 1, 2008

Celebrity cupcake face

Suri Cruise gets all the media attention when she has cupcake on her face:But Catcher Her in the Wry started the trend 23 years ago and did a much better job: