"Everything that is really great and inspiring is created by the individual who can labor in freedom" Albert Einstein

"A dame who knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up." Mae West

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Tuesday Titillation

There are vibrating hammers, but getting hammered by a vibrator is a whole different thing.

An Illinois woman has a few drinks at a restaurant called Joe's Crab Shack and allegedly skipped out on the bill.  The report didn't indicate if she had crabs or not.

A police investigator was called to the scene and found the woman lying nearby in the grass apparently intoxicated.  She didn't have any money with her so the investigator accompanied the woman to her apartment.  When she reached into her drawer to get her money for the unpaid bill, she instead pulled out a " clear, rigid, feminine pleasure device" and tried to assult the police officer with it.

"She was charged with aggravated assault against an officer, a misdemeanor.  Bildsten was also charged with theft of labor or services for walking out on the Crab Shack bill, Patrick said. She was also charged being under the influence while walking on public roadways."

Jeez, what's a girl to do? It's illegal to drive OR walk when drunk.

As a result of this new repurposing of  pleasure devices, and due to Illinois concealed carry laws, all women in the state are banned from carrying their vibrators in their purses for protection unless the batteries have been removed and stored elsewhere.


Stacy said...

LOL...I'm betting that cop will be hearing about that for the rest of his life!

Red Shoes said...


I've been assaulted with one of those vibrating devices before... I wish she had tried to wake me up before entering 'The Forbidden Zone!'


white rabbit said...

Well it's all go in Illinois...

Presumably if our heroine had made her way home without using the public walkways she would have had a defence.

I don't wish to be unkind but she is damn ugly. I'm not surprised her best friend is a feminine pleasure device

Jus sayin.

wv: carral - I thought for one wonderful moment it was carnal...

Catch Her in the Wry said...

stacy: I certain most cops have a treasure trove of humorous stories.

shoes: Unauthorized poking should be a crime if it isn't now.

rabbit: Perhaps crawling home would have provided a defense.*
*We spell it differently over here.;D

Red Shoes said...