Moon Over Vail & Champaign

By now I think everyone has heard about or seen pictures of the poor guy in Vail, Co. who was flipped out of his ski lift chair (and pants) and suspended upside down, clothed only from the waist up. It had to be humiliating enough without folks taking cell phone pics and videos and transmitting them around the world.

I can think of nothing quite so embarrassing as having one's bottom on full public display through no fault of one's own. I speak from personal experience, although not quite as revealing as his.

For reasons I cannot now remember, I needed to transact some business at the main headquarters of the area newspaper. Locals know that the building is fairly new and modern with a large expanse of glass overlooking a public sidewalk, a busy street, and the downtown business district. Although adorned in business dress, stockings and heels, I had my then 3 year old in tow, as we were killing some time before picking up her older sister.

Small children can get easily bored, especially when the mother's attention is elsewhere, and young daughter was restless. While holding my hand she decided that sliding up and down the wall of the reception desk was mildly entertaining. Somehow during the course of my conversation with the receptionist, daughter moved her vertical sliding around to the back of my legs. Before I realized what was happening, my dress hem had been slid up to my waist-line and was snagged tightly under my belt. I think the draft between my thighs was my first clue that something was amiss.

I looked over my shoulder to find a full presentation of my pantied rear end and a giggling daughter. Every thing else in the scenario was a complete blur, but I am certain there were people behind me and on the sidewalk and in cars driving by. Fortunately my business was finished and with hands faster than a speeding bullet, the hem was removed, the child grabbed, and never had I run so fast in high-heels. The only saving grace for me was that it was over in less than a minute and that this occurred long before there were cell phone cameras. I can just imagine the Internet blog post titles: "Child offers mother's buns to newspaper employees" or "Divorcee displays assets as dating lure" You can probably come up with even better ones.