"Everything that is really great and inspiring is created by the individual who can labor in freedom" Albert Einstein

"A dame who knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up." Mae West

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Sex Ed

I have always assumed that every woman has been sexually accosted and/or harassed, in some way or other, at some point in her life. Not a pretty fact, but a disgusting part of life when the world is filled with some men who just think with the wrong head.

I am not talking about headline type incidents. I'm speaking of those smaller private events that happen to throw you off guard in the normal course of going about your daily business. I'm sure every woman has at least one story. Below is a sampling from my own life:

late teens
During a casual, unprovoked, unprovocative conversation, a former college star basketball player intentionally poured a pitcher of beer down the front of my white shirt hoping for a peep show

As I crossed through a crowded room, a male grabbed me in the crouch when I passed him

Someone I had known for years and dated for a few months wanted me to have sex with him. I said no - numerous times. He pinned me to the wall and did it anyway.

When I went into the storage room of my office on a Saturday, the janitor grabbed my breasts with both hands

As we walked down the hill from the Parthenon in Greece, a man grinned at my friend and me and then he furiously masturbated and flung his seed in a 5 foot semi-circle around him

Here's how I handled the situations. You'll have to figure out which reaction fits which occurrence:

I laughed.
I cried.
I walked away.
I told him he'd be fired if he ever did that again.
I grabbed his balls and gave a twist.

I should not have taken matters into my own hands. I should have reported the incidents to authorities.

These types of incidents in my life have been waning in recent years. Is it that these kinds of men are finally getting it because of all the media attention, HR education, and pressure from women's groups? Or is it simply that wrinkles offer some protection?

Addendum: I previously posted about an experience in my 50's: Tattle Tale


Crockhead said...

Okay, I'll give it a shot:
Late teens -- you laughed;
20's, first incident -- you grabbed his balls;
20's second incident -- you cried
30s -- you told him he'd be fired (why does he get one free grope? You should have fired him on the spot.)
40s -- you walked away

Catch Her in the Wry said...

Crock: Nope, you got the first and last mixed up. I wasn't the boss then so I couldn't fire him on the spot, and it was one of those situations, the boss would porbably never have believed me.

Anonymous said...

I think every woman has versions of these stories. I hate it. I spent a lot of my spare time in my 20s and 30s doing activism against sexual violence. I hope to return to this work sometime soon. Thank you for writing about it. Every woman who reveals these things helps another woman.

Catch Her in the Wry said...

rhea: My friend even has a story of a dirty old male resident of a nursing home who knew exactly what he was doing. (He wasn't senile).