"Everything that is really great and inspiring is created by the individual who can labor in freedom" Albert Einstein

"A dame who knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up." Mae West

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Tuesday Titillation

This is old news, but it is worth repeating this time of year.

In an odor study of men ages 16-64, done in the1990s by Dr. Alan R. Hirsch, who directs the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago, the number one odor that enhanced penile blood flow was a combination of lavender and pumpkin pie, and pumpkin pie was the strongest stimulant on its own.



Other scents and their effects were:
•Lavender and pumpkin pie: 40%
•Doughnut and black licorice: 31.5%
•Doughnut and cola: 12.5%
•Lily of the valley: 11%
•Buttered popcorn: 9%
Forget about smothering yourself in cranberry sauce.  (Cranberry - 2%)

 If your man doesn't like pumpkin pie and is strictly a meat-eater, you could always wear a meat dress like Lady Gaga as long as he likes things rare.



Otherwise, try some Burger King "Flame" cologne that smells like cooked flame-broiled meat


and hand him a bottle of pumpkin ale. 



Football half-time on Thanksgiving Day could be better than the game itself.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Acoustical Rhapsody in Blue

Brazilian acoustical guitars performing America's George Gershwin classic.

It takes good eyes and patience to do this

How cool is this?  Dalton Ghetti, a carpenter by trade, makes beautiful, detailed art carvings in pencil tips using the graphite and sometimes the wood of the pencil.

Key:



Elvis:


Alphabet:


You can see more of his art here.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Questions a la Randomness Meme

From Sunday Stealing:

Have you ever licked the back of a CD to try to get it to work?
I've licked and licked and it still won't pay me more than 2%.

What’s the largest age difference between yourself and someone you’ve dated?
Plus and minus 6 years

Have you ever been on a blind date?
No.  I have been on a deaf one, but I got hoarse. CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?

Do you have any friends that you’ve known for 10 years or more?
Almost all of them

Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?
No, they were way too old.

What song do you want played at your funeral?
No funeral - I'm going straight to the garbage pile.

But here's a list of songs that I hope will remind people of me:

No Regrets



Cabaret (no embedding allowed so you'll have to click on the link)

My Way


Autumn Leaves



Fields of Gold



Would you tell your parents if you were gay?
Not at their age; the shock would kill them

What would your last meal be before getting executed?
New York cheesecake, brownies, pound cake with raspberries, chocolate truffles, and bread pudding with rum sauce

Do you walk around the house naked?
Only once and then I go inside.  It gets mighty cold out there this time of year.


What do you do as soon as you walk in the house?
Put my clothes back on

Who is the person you can count on the most?
myself - usually on my fingers, but sometimes my toes if the numbers get high. 

You can count on me, too.



What is your favorite Holiday?


Would you ever get plastic surgery?
Nope. I want my face flexible so I can make silly faces.


Have you ever caught a fish?
Yes, the first time I every went fishing I caught several more trout than all the others I was, with despite the fact it took me 45 minutes to learn to cast my line.

What is the first thing you notice about people?
the kind of mood they're in  


What is the farthest you’ve been from home?
Cyprus

How did you meet your spouse or significant other (or most recent one)?
Classified ads. I've written about it before here.

Where was the last place you drove (other than home/school/work)?
The Goodwill Store to drop off some donations. It's that time of year.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Thursday Thoughts

Meg Whitman just settled the dispute with her former illegal alien maid for $5500.  You can bet that publicity loving, ambulance chaser, close friend of Jerry Brown, attorney Gloria Allred got her 50% of that huge settlement.

"Allred said Whitman and her neurosurgeon husband, Griffith Harsh, owed Diaz Santillan $8,000 to $10,000 for additional duties and expenses, such as mileage, beyond cleaning house. She claimed the maid was owed for grocery shopping, driving the couple's children around town and performing other errands during her nine-year employment. She did not release specifics about the settlement except to say that it did not include mileage."
Of course, Ms Allred makes good use of a photo shoot:
"Diaz Santillan's celebrity attorney, Gloria Allred, stood by and held Diaz Santillan close to her with one arm, never letting go. Another arm would have made it a bear hug."
Originally, the issue was that Whitman knowingly hired an illegal alien to work for her yet campaigning against the hiring of them.  Whitman claimed the subject of the maid was brought to public light just before the election in which she was running for governor against Jerry Brown and she alleged that Brown supporters (including Allred) were behind it.

Whitman denied she knowingly hired an illegal alien. She had used an employment agency which assured her that through their vetting process none of their employees were illegal.  When Whitman's husband had received notices from the IRS about Santillan's employment, Santilla assured them she had responded and resolved the inquiries.  Finally Whitman discovered that Santillan had lied about her residency and she immediately fired Santillan.  She even had documentation proving all this.  If she had kept employing her, Whitman would have been in deep trouble with immigration and IRS officials.

The media raked Whitman over the coals for firing a 9 year employee with no notice, and Allred milked it for all its worth describing Santillan as " like a member of their family."  Whitman was in a no-win situation - she did what she was legally required to do and her opponents spun it into a class war of big wealth against poor innocent immigrant (albeit liar) just trying to eke out a living in America.

Apparently Whitman was in the right, because there is no charge of hiring an undocumented worker and Ms. Allred had to find a way somehow to get paid:
"Dennis Brown, Whitman's attorney in the matter, described the $5,500 settlement as "routine" for this sort of pay dispute. He said the only reason the issue was heard was because there were no time cards involved and he emphasized that the settlement does not mean Whitman and her husband admit wrongdoing"
I am not a supporter of either political party, but I am sick and tired of this type of political maneuvering in which the public is manipulated into thinking that some crime has been committed when it has not.

Something very similar happened in the Illinois governor's race when Illinois current governor Quinn's supporters spent thousands of dollars on ads stating that his opponent had not paid any income taxes. The ads made it sound like his opponent had done something illegal or was skipping out on taxes due.

Quinn's opponent was a real estate developer and we all know what happened in the real estate market over the past few years.  His business had tremendous losses which wiped out any income he earned as a state senator and consequently resulted in a net loss (zero taxable income) on his tax return.

It all comes back to political parties (and it just happens that it is the Democratic Party in both these cases) using class envy as a way to destroy candidates.  It used to be that in this country women who rose up the corporate ladder were touted as heroines and businessmen who took risk, hired employees, and made money were admired.  Now people want to destroy them. 

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Don Draper - What a man!

I was too busy looking at him to notice all the times he said "What."

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Tuesday Titillation

There are vibrating hammers, but getting hammered by a vibrator is a whole different thing.

An Illinois woman has a few drinks at a restaurant called Joe's Crab Shack and allegedly skipped out on the bill.  The report didn't indicate if she had crabs or not.

A police investigator was called to the scene and found the woman lying nearby in the grass apparently intoxicated.  She didn't have any money with her so the investigator accompanied the woman to her apartment.  When she reached into her drawer to get her money for the unpaid bill, she instead pulled out a " clear, rigid, feminine pleasure device" and tried to assult the police officer with it.

"She was charged with aggravated assault against an officer, a misdemeanor.  Bildsten was also charged with theft of labor or services for walking out on the Crab Shack bill, Patrick said. She was also charged being under the influence while walking on public roadways."

Jeez, what's a girl to do? It's illegal to drive OR walk when drunk.

As a result of this new repurposing of  pleasure devices, and due to Illinois concealed carry laws, all women in the state are banned from carrying their vibrators in their purses for protection unless the batteries have been removed and stored elsewhere.