Full of Air

If you're one of the very few people who have never experienced a belly full of gas in a public situation, then you wouldn't find the humor in the latest Gas-X commercial. A man is being interviewed for a job:


"Impressive resume. Flatulent in three languages. I see you graduated at the top of your gas."

Assitant interupts: "Excuse me. Your son Rip is on line toot."


In these situations, no matter how hard you concentrate, bathroom humor comes to the forefront of your mind.


So I found it most amusing that immediately following this particular commercial, the first reporter to appear on the CBS Evening News was Dr. John LaPoop (er, LaPook).

Spring Fever

Now I know why I am seeing more and more of these so-called Amish Barn Stars: It's mating season.

These two were caught in the act this morning . Well, it is spring.

Being different is criminal

As the FLDS drama continues in Texas, it appears that perhaps public opinion is starting to sway toward the religious sect. It is beginning to look like another example of punishing all for the sins of a few. Or punishing the victims instead of the perpetrators.


Removing over 400 children from their families to barracks and on to foster homes, unlike any home-life they have been accustomed, will certainly confuse and possibly permanently harm them. Displacing all of them for the sake of saving a few is not the answer.

Better police investigations and stronger evidence singling out the perpetrators, then removing the alleged perpetrators from the compound would have been a better solution. Children could have stayed with their mothers and innocent fathers would not have a guilty shadow hanging over them.

Just because a group of people look and live differently from "normal" society, does not mean that they are all criminals. Speak to a Catholic priest, a Muslim, or a young black man. Suspicion in this country is rampant and tolerance has a long way to go.

Lars and real life

Last night I finally watched Lars and the Real Girl and thoroughly enjoyed this little movie gem. A delusional lonely guy finds love with a sex doll, and his family and entire community go along with it.

Perhaps being from a small community helps one identify with this subject matter. Every town has "local color", but those characters seem to stand out more in little towns and people seem more willing to engage in the farce.

My town had Red, who was certain he owned a Corvette manufacturing plant in Kankakee, IL. People would have long conversations with him about the plant and the cars being produced, and he was eager to discuss his business venture. Of course we all knew there was no business, but we all went along with it because in some way we all loved Red for who he was.

When I lived in a small Alabama town, there was Cliff, a mid-forty-ish man with Down's Syndrome, who loved showing off his endless supply of colorful ties and happily went from store to store with his broom, offering his help to clean. Although not delusional, he had his own quirkiness that was endearing to everyone around him and when he died, there was no other funeral so largely attended.

At least in small town America, those who may be considered weirdos elsewhere, are always surrounded by people who love them for simply who they are.

Helping Hand

Here's another excuse for do-it-yourself-ers. There are some health benefits.

Spring Fever

When this occurs, I always think of daughter #2.
She looked down upon it through her second floor bedroom window and climbed up into it for contemplation and alone time in the back yard. She says she'll forever love that tree.

Spousal rights

First of all, I must make a disclaimer: I am not supporting any presidential candidate. Period.


Areas of the blogosphere and other media are irate over the fact that Cindy McCain's tax returns were not publicly revealed along with her husband's. "John McCain's lack of transparency is troubling and raises questions about what he's hiding," Democratic National Committee Chairman Howard Dean said .

Nevermind the fact that the McCain's hold investments each in their own names and even have a pre-nup agreement regarding their finances. Some groups estimate the McCain's "combined" wealth as $28-100 million. It appears to me that there is no "combined" wealth; it is "his" wealth and "her" wealth, separately. They may be married, but their finances are separate.

Cindy and John McCain's filing status is "married filing separately" and therefore, unlike other candidates who file joint tax returns, Mrs. McCain's tax records are not subject to public scrutiny. She is not running for public office and is not obligated to disclose her finances. The simple truth is that it is none of the public's business what the spouse of a candidate earns or owns. A bad example was set by Theresa Heinz Kerry when she released her private tax returns under political pressure.


Other candidates had the option to file their taxes separately, but apparently chose not to. As a result, the spouse's income on a candidate's joint return become public knowledge when the candidate's tax return is exposed. There is no "lack of transparency" on John McCain's part; his tax return was released as required.

It is surprising to me that antiquated ideas like this still abound in modern American society: that spouses can't/don't have their own investments; that, once married, spouses merge all their income; or even that spouses have the same opinions (political or otherwise).