Titillating Tuesday - Bald benefits

Going bald keeps you from getting crabby.

Apparently with so many people waxing and shaving, pubic lice have nowhere to roam. According to this Bloomberg article:

Waning infestations of the bloodsuckers have been linked by doctors to pubic depilation...
 

(For some reason I like the way that phrase was written)

Not only are there some health benefits to this craze, from an economic standpoint companies are seeing sales booms:

The global market for depilatories was worth $4.69 billion last year, according to London-based Euromonitor International Ltd., which estimates sales increased at a 7.6 percent average annual clip the past decade. Cincinnati-based P&G, Slough, England-based Reckitt Benckiser and Energizer Holdings Inc. (ENR), based in St. Louis, dominate the market, which Euromonitor predicts will reach $5.6 billion by 2016
 

What a lousy way to make some money.

Testing, testing, is anyone still there?

My New Year's resolution was to blog more this year. I should say to go back to blogging since I've been gone for nearly 6 months. Now it's the 10th day into the new year, and I am only now making a feeble attempt at a comeback.

So I'll take the lazy way and start off with a meme from another blogger Memphis Steve. And being even lazier, my dog is guest blogger today.

The 3 Meme

 Three names I go by: Lola, LolaBola, Preeety Doggie

Three places I have lived: little farm, big farm, small town

Three places I worked: I don't have to work.  I'm a kept woman.

Three things I love to watch: humans eating, squirrels and rabbits running from me, stupid cats using a scratch post



Three places I have been: back yard, farm, vet

Three people that email me regularly: No one. I don't even hear from my 40+ children

Three things I love to eat: cat poop, rabbit droppings, toffee



Three people I think will respond: dog owners, dog lovers, cat haters

Three things I am looking forward to: pooping, eating, napping

A dark night in Aurora

I didn't come out of my hole to write about the horrific shooting of the past few days. There's enough being written in main-stream and social media, and our hearts weep for all those innocent victims. 

The incident, however, did bring to light bad parental behavior that is all too common these days: 

What the heck are parents thinking taking young children to a midnight movie that is rated PG-13? News reports indicate there were numerous young children under age 13 in the audience.

According to the Motion Picture Association of America, here's the definition of PG-13:


"PG-13 — Parents Strongly Cautioned. Some Material May Be Inappropriate For Children Under 13. A PG-13 rating is a sterner warning by the Rating Board to parents to determine whether their children under age 13 should view the motion picture, as some material might not be suited for them. A PG-13 motion picture may go beyond the PG rating in theme, violence, nudity, sensuality, language, adult activities or other elements, but does not reach the restricted R category. The theme of the motion picture by itself will not result in a rating greater than PG-13, although depictions of activities related to a mature theme may result in a restricted rating for the motion picture. Any drug use will initially require at least a PG-13 rating. More than brief nudity will require at least a PG-13 rating, but such nudity in a PG-13 rated motion picture generally will not be sexually oriented. There may be depictions of violence in a PG-13 movie, but generally not both realistic and extreme or persistent violence. A motion picture’s single use of one of the harsher sexually-derived words, though only as an expletive, initially requires at least a PG-13 rating. More than one such expletive requires an R rating, as must even one of those words used in a sexual context. The Rating Board nevertheless may rate such a motion picture PG-13 if, based on a special vote by a two-thirds majority, the Raters feel that most American parents would believe that a PG-13 rating is appropriate because of the context or manner in which the words are used or because the use of those words in the motion picture is inconspicuous."

So the parents are strongly cautioned about the content of the film, but they think their child can handle it. (Maybe, but most small children probably can't or shouldn't.)

This was a MIDNIGHT show on a week night.  Why weren't these kids in bed getting a good night's sleep?

Oh, Mom and Dad couldn't get a baby sitter and they really wanted to see this movie?  Then they should go see it another time when they CAN get a sitter. The priorities should be children first, movie second.

Even if this horrible tragedy had not occurred, one wonders what the effect the movie alone would have had on those children attending. Rating systems are in place so that parents can make good judgments about what their children are exposed to.  There are times when we can't keep the evil of life from entering their lives, but as parents we have a responsibility to protect their innocence as long as possible.  Taking young children to a PG-13 or R rated movie at midnight or any other time is a violation of parental responsibility.

Henri's Ennui

Not only bored, but he can't speak French either.  Have a great weekend!

Tuesday Titillation

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Sunday Stealing - Charmed Meme

1. My uncle once:
kept a diary with pictures of all the physical abuse his wife did to him

2. Never in my life:
have I climbed Mt. Everest

3. When I was five:
I walked 3 blocks alone to kindergarten and back home each day

4. High School was:
four years of teenage angst

5. I will never forget:
April, 2011

6. I once met:
Mary Travers (of Peter, Paul & Mary) at a local drive-in restaurant. She needed directions to a concert venue.

7. There’s this girl I know who:
who has coulrophobia

8. Once, at a bar:
a former college hot shot basketball player dumped an entire pitcher of beer on my chest, simply because he thought it was funny.  I, however, was not amused.

9. By noon, I’m usually:
hankering for a sandwich

10. Last night:
I cooked a pork roast with carrots and parsnips, delivered some to my Dad for his dinner, took him for a car ride and back to the nursing home, then watched a movie, 50/50 , with my spouse.

"Adam: A tumor?
Dr. Ross: Yes.
Adam: Me?
Dr. Ross: Yes.
Adam: That doesn't make any sense though. I mean... I don't smoke. I don't drink. I recycle."

11. If only I had:
more hours in the day and more days in the week

12. Next time I go to church:
will most likely be for a wedding or funeral

13. Jonathan Frid:
now just a dark shadow of his former self

14. What worries me most:

15. When I turn my head left, I see:
my left shoulder

16. When I turn my head right, I see:
my right shoulder

17. You know I’m lying when:
I'm prone or supine.

18. What I miss most about the 80s:

my two babies and shoulder pads

19. If I was a character in Shakespeare, I’d be:
Katherina Minola

20. By this time next year:
we'll know if the Mayans were right

Monday Musings

How is it that I had not written a post in almost two months, yet gained two followers of this blog?

A meme that's better than no post at all

From Sunday Stealing last week:
1. Why is your favorite color your favorite?

Blue. It matches my eyes.

2. Do you prefer dogs or cats or do you just hate animals, and want to kill baby seals?
I prefer animal attraction. 

3. How much time do you spend on the computer?

January-May, it's about 10-14 hours per day.

4. Not including porn, what do you do on the computer?

January-May, it's mostly work. Other times it's email, reading news and blogs, shopping, writing, investing, and facebook stalking. Yet I still have a life.

5. Are you a clock watcher?

No, I have this great internal clock that wakes me every morning and gets me to all my appointments on time.

6. What do you/did you look for in a partner?

A penis and a sense of humor

7. What type of clothing do you prefer?

Something that covers 80% of my body. 

8. What is your favorite type of music? 
Almost every type.  Right now I'm listening to the B-52s on a PBS special.

9. Do you believe in the paranormal, Ghosts, ESP, levitation, spoon bending?
Only ESP, and I know exactly what you're thinking.

10. The most important question: Do you have a inie or outie belly button?

I have the prettier type.

11. What kind of car do you drive?

The one that will start on that particular day.

12. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun or The Boys Are Back in Town?

There's no choice.  Girls just wanna have fun when the boys are back in town.

13. Camping or the Ritz?

A vacation must include a comfy bed, private shower, maid service, and a good restaurant.

14. What food are you craving RIGHT NOW . . . did you eat it?

It's the middle of the night and the dog's rawhide bone is looking mighty good.

15. The most thrilling place you've ever visited. Why?

The Acropolis in Athens.  As I strolled down the hill with my friend, we saw a man under a tree that, in the glimpse from the corner of my eye, I thought was twirling a white rope lasso.

Oops. I forgot I wasn't in the Wild West. It was actually a stream coming from his manhood. 

16. If you could slip into the skin of one public figure--celebrity, artist,--who would it be?

Dolly Parton

17. Look up from your computer. What do you see first?

web cam

18. Sum up your philosophy of life in one sentence. You can borrow it from someone else, if you'd like.

No regrets.
 (Yes, I know that was not a sentence.  It was a phrase, but it is now acceptable to use phrases instead of sentences as indicated by current editors of most publishing houses.)

19. Name the one thing you just don't understand about kids today.

Why can't they think of synonyms for the F word?

20. If you could steal one work of art from a museum or gallery, which would it be?
It's those beautifully detailed veins in the arms and those abs.  Do you think they would notice it sticking out from under my coat?

This and That

(I started this post almost a month ago, but at least I finally published it so you know I'm still alive.)

1.  This is my busiest time of year - especially the month of February.  Those of you who have followed me for a while know my posts get fewer and fewer during tax season, but I promise to be back on a regular basis sometime soon.

2.  Everyone around here is talking about this "new" singer Adele who won so many Grammy Awards the other night.  I've been a fan of her for years, and "Chasing Pavements" is still one of my favorites from her repertoire:



It's a shame that the death of Whitney Houston pushed Adele out of her well-deserved spotlight. No wonder she raised a finger in protest a few days later.

3.  And that begs a question: Why does the media go into overdrive when an entertainer with a very public drug problem leaves this world.  There is rarely day after day, week after week of coverage when an entertainer who lived a clean, decent, good life dies.  Personally I am sick of this elevation of troubled souls into hero status.  The media is always more interested in covering stories of those who are weak and have no self-restraint than those who value life and avoid self-destruction.

4.The winners of the four top acting Academy Awards were an interesting group:  two were over 60, one a plus-size minority, and an average looking French dude. It was refreshing to see that perhaps awards were finally being given for great performances of normal looking-people and not for plastic Barbies and Kens.

It's Faux Real

I've been thinking recently about how people today are embracing fake as the norm. 
We all know people with fake body parts:

Breasts -Nature didn't give that many women 38Ds
Hair - Oh, please. Everyone over 50 has grey hair. Not everyone has long thick hair. Some don't have any.
Teeth - Real teeth don't glow in the dark.

Eyelashes - Even the thickest natural lashes don't project 2 inches from the face

Nails - Real fingernails don't look like claws

Tans - Leather skin is only in fashion in Florida

Eyes - Cat eye contacts belong in cats, not humans

Generally they are found on fake people with fake smiles who are fake friends.

Houses have also become fake. Hardwood floors are now made of plastic.  So are fancy stair railings and fences. And Roman/Greek columns are now made of aluminum.  Shake and slate shingles are now fiberglass.  There's fake brick that needs no mortar. The homes are protected by fake security cameras. 

The houses are filled with people watching fake wrestling on television while surrounded by fake plants and fake flowers, fake Christmas trees, fake fireplaces, fake fur, fake diamonds, and fake orgasms.

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships. — Sharon Stone

Food is also becoming fake.  There's fake sugar, fake fat, fake cheese, fake soda pop.

I mean those patented substances chemically flavored and mechanically bulked out to kill the appetite and deceive the gut — is unnatural, almost immoral, a bane to good eating and good cooking. — Julia Child

Let's not forget fake i.d.s, fake designer items, fake tattoos, fake photos, fake checks, fake money.


Even our language is embracing this phenomena:

"It's like kind of  a big deal." 

"Like it's totally awesome." 

 

Yeah it's not awesome, just like it.

ABC Reporter Bill Weir came up with other excuses for use of the word "like."  (I couldn't embed it in this post so you'll need to follow this link.)  It's like a news report, but isn't real because it's full of fake punches in the face.

Yes indeed, we can even say that there is fake news reporting...unless you're one of those who think The Onion is real news.

My childhood was spent with real men and women with real bodies.  We lived in a real house with real wood floors and real flowers and ate real food. We spoke proper English.

But all that's like history now.

The New Christmas Sweater

My husband has always liked to wear cardigan sweaters.  For a long time that was not something I wanted many people to know.  They were generally put into the same category as ugly Christmas sweaters.  Now that wearing cardigans is cool I'll let the secret out.

I had been wanting to give him a new cardigan for Christmas for several years, but only this season was I able to find an abundance of choices and finally made a purchase.  He was thrilled with the new one and even threw out two old holely ones from his closet.

I thank the hipsters for the cardigan popularity.  Adding an old cardigan from the Goodwill store as an accessory to jeans and a t-shirt can make any 20-30 year old someone look edgy.  Top it off with a soho hat and thick black rimmed glasses and you've really made a statement. Add a loosely tied tie at the neck for even more awesomeness. Who knew that dressing like old men could become popular?

Now that they've started the trend, you can get new cardigans at the mall instead of worn out ones from the thrift shops.

Someone even has a tumbler photo blog of "Men in Cardigans."

OK, so hubby doesn't look quite as cool as the guys in the photo blog, and he doesn't wear his cardigan over a t-shirt, and if he wears a tie it will be worn properly tight around the neck.  So he's not a hipster; he looks more like this:

But, hey, who doesn't love Mr. Rogers?

A New Christmas

My older daughter remarked Christmas Eve that the dining room table at her grandmother's house had different people in different places this year.

My father-in-law wasn't there (died in April).  My niece's fiancee was sitting in the chair that used to hold my brother (died in 2007).  My sister-in-law's boyfriend sat at the end of the table where one of the nephews used to sit. He moved to the other side of the table.  My mother wasn't sitting near the dining room door at the kitchen table with me (died in April). My spouse had taken her place and younger daughter joined us there.  Only a couple people were sitting where they had for 20+ Christmases before.

The traditional menu was the same, the food good and bountiful as usual.  Conversations were lively and merry.

It was just different this year. Good, but different.

Music Monday

A little country to start the week.

Tuesday Titillation

Dickman's Meat & Deli was in danger of closing due to the cost of complying with government regulations.  The owner, however, negotiated with city officials and was able to get the remodeling costs lowered. Tucson residents seem happy that Dickman's Meat will still be selling homemade sausages.  The meat shop is known for their good selection of variety meats and their own jerky.

The deli is owned by a woman, but not Lorena Bobbitt.

Music Monday - Ray Charles

Was it a sin that this down and dirty performance took place in a monastery?

Christmas Quiz Meme

The Christmas Quiz (shamelessly stolen from Chambanachik who stole it from Jane.)

Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate?

Both. My homemade egg nog is a decadent treat - cooked custard and whipped egg whites and just the right amount of alcohol - it's almost a milk shake. And it tastes nothing like anything you buy pre-made in a carton. If it's really cold out, a Tom & Jerry is a good substitute.  It's essentially a hot egg nog.

Colored lights on tree/house or white?

White. I live in a fun house with a bunch of freaks but I don't want to advertise the fact with carnival-colored lights.

Do you hang mistletoe?

No, but I did when I lived in the South.  We'd shoot it out of the trees and bring it into the house for decoration.  It was prettier than a dead deer or pheasant hanging from the ceiling.

When do you put your decorations up?
Usually Thanksgiving Day, but some years, like this year,  not at all.

What is your favorite holiday dish?
It used to be Swedish ostkaka, a type of cheesecake made from raw milk.  A soft, but firm texture,  it was served in warm milk with sugar and cinnamon.  We can't get raw milk any more, so there is a recipe now using homogenized milk, but it doesn't taste the same as the original.

Favorite Holiday memory as a child?
Going to my great-grandmother's big old house in the country on Christmas Eve.  She had seven children and they would all be there along with all their children and their children's children. Norwegian egg coffee would be warming on the stove in a granite ware pot as was a large pot of oyster stew. The dining table was over-flowing with other Norwegian specialties including lefse (with butter and sugar) and kringla.  All the little cousins had to perform, either speaking their lines from the church Christmas program or performing on the piano, or singing.  After that, Santa Claus arrived with a bag full of gifts, one for each of the children in attendance.  He always came through the front door; never down the chimney.

When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?

Don't remember, but probably the same kid who told me that you get a baby by letting someone stick his tongue in your mouth.

Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?
That's when we open ALL our gifts. Christmas morning is for sleeping.

How do you decorate your Christmas tree?
I start at the top and work my way down.

Snow! Love it or dread it?

Love it as long as it isn't a blizzard and I'm not out in it

Do you remember your favorite gift?

My high top white leather roller skates with wood wheels, with toe stoppers, pompoms and a metal carrying case.  Similar to this pair from Etsy:

What is your favorite holiday dessert?

Cranberry trifle when I have time to make it

What is your favorite holiday tradition?

Norwegian and Swedish foods - pickled herring, fruit soup, cheese with caraway, potato sausage, plus the Norwegian ones mentioned above, and more.

Candy Canes: Yuck or Yum?
When poked into an orange and used like a straw, yum.

Favorite Christmas movie?

The 1951 version of "Scrooge" with Alastair Sim

Saddest Christmas song?
Not a Christmas song, but close -

What is your favorite Christmas song?

Leroy Anderson's Sleigh Ride

Monday Musings

1.  My older daughter and her husband just returned from a vacation in Argentina where she also celebrated her 29th birthday. She was in Australia on her 27th birthday.  In keeping with the tradition of spending her birthdays in areas of the southern hemisphere that begin and end with the letter A, perhaps she'll spend her 31st in Angola or Antarctica. Hopefully not. She already got to see penguins in Argentina.

2.  Why is it easier to get the two pieces of  a 9 1/2 foot pre-lit artificial Christmas tree down into the basement after the holiday season than it is getting it back up the following year?  One of these days I might actually have some help carrying the darn thing.  In the meantime, I just grab the knot of the sheet wrapped around each 75 pound piece of tree and PULL!!!  The hardest thing is getting it upright to decorate it.  I might be short, but with some huffing, puffing, and cursing under my breath, I do have the balls to get it done.

3.  Speaking of the holidays gone wild, my 21 year old nephew has out-done himself this year and is decorating the exterior of my sister-in-law's home with 100,000 lights.  Yep, that's right - 4 times more than Clark Griswold's house  in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation movie!

Unlike the Griswold house, my nephew has added wiring and circuit boxes to handle the electric load. Here's a picture of his partially decorated house. There are many, many more lights beyond the range of this picture in the side and back yards that can be seen from the street.

Sometime this week he will have all the lights installed and then set to music so visitors can drive by, tune their radio to a specific station, and listen as they watch a flashing light show of red, green, and white.  The small town folk here are anxiously awaiting.

4.  I recently became addicted to these:

Small bits of pretzels coated with spicy pepper and large salt grains exploding in my mouth with every crunch...Fortunately they've been on sale and notice the "20% more" sign on the package.  How can I resist when the dealers are practically giving it away? (BTW: This is a non-solicited, non-compensated endorsement.) I know the drill; I'll get hooked. Then they'll start making the packaging smaller and increasing the price until I'm broke and on the street begging for money to support my habit.

On the road this week

1.  If you want to turn right from the left lane, it might be a good idea to at least use your turn signal so I can anticipate slamming on my brakes.
2.  If you're in front of me, you want to turn left, and you turn your left signal on,  please don't pass 11 intersections and travel 4 miles before you finally decide to make the turn.

3.  If you suddenly come up behind me from out of nowhere and then ride my bumper for several miles, even though there were plenty of opportunities to pass me, I don't even need to confirm that you are talking on your cell phone.

4.  If you have a cup of coffee in one hand and you're applying mascara to your eyelashes with the other hand, I hope you have auto-pilot in your car or a third arm.

Wacky Wednesday Wisdom - Happy Thanksgiving

"Here I am 5 o'clock in the morning stuffing bread crumbs up a dead bird's butt." ~ Roseanne Barr

 

Tuesday Titillation

There is always someone complaining about offensive art and because there is no uniform definition of offensive, artists are censored, museums are shut down  by city officials, and churches form picket lines.

"Do you have anything non-naked to display?"

A very clever artist found a way to publicly  present his nude photo after it had been banned.  He used a QRC.  QRCs (Quick Response Codes), in case you didn't know, are those black and white pixilated squares that are appearing on real estate signs, print advertising and almost everywhere nowadays.  Just aim your smartphone at the QRC and it takes you to the Internet where you can find more information.

In this case, the artist enlarged a QRC and hung it in the gallery.  Some people thought it was abstract art, but smart people with smart phones realized it was a QRC and were able to view his photo of a nude women lying in a stream with breast exposed.

Of course, the city powers that be eventually figured things out and are now contemplating imposing  new rules for displaying art.