More fun than memes.

Facebook quizzes are like horoscopes, fun to read but not take too seriously. At the insistence of my various so-called "friends" on Facebook, here are my most recent results:

What kind of dog am I? Answer: German Shepherd. The breed that best describes you is the German Shepherd. You are loyal, strong in heart, and faithful until the end. Even if you do not have a lot of friends, the ones you have you would do anything for. You are bold and confident. You are usually more serious than you are silly. You enjoy working and take pride in what you do. You love being around family and close friends, but you are wary of strangers and may take time to warm up to them. (I always thought I was a yappy little fur ball.)

Which psychiatric medicine am I? Answer: Lithium. You don't mince words, do you? You get right to the problem and smash it with a sledgehammer. Whatever works, right? As lithium, you are a classic, a "Golden Oldie," often overlooked in favor of the shiny new drug, but still doing the same reliable job you've always done, even if it comes with a few bumpy side effects. You treat bipolar disorder and also are good for regular old depression - you keep people sailing on down the middle of the road. (Golden Oldies are the best - go ask Alice, I think she'll know)

If I were a stripper, what would my stage name be? Answer: Candy. You would be the nicest stripper in the entire club! You're sweet, compassionate, very polite and damn good dancer too! All the girls will envy you because you have the looks, the moves and the personality. Your stripper anthem: "The reason - Hoobastank". (I might be the nicest, but I certainly wouldn't get the most tips.)

Which kitchen utensil reveals the true nature of your sexuality? Answer: Kitchen Wisk. You are the "all around" kitchen tool that has been getting the job done for centuries. You adore whipping things into submission, creating that perfect peak (on an egg-white, of course), and you revel in the creamy texture of a good, hard, sensual flick of the wrist. (Perhaps if I used the kitchen skills as a stripper, I would get better tips.)

What is your color? Answer: White. You are pure, peaceful, and kind. You are independent and you manage in your life independently. (Absolutely - just like this: