"A dame who knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up." Mae West
Monday, October 31, 2011
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
"A 28-year-old woman in India came to her doctor with an unusual complaint: a sudden and persistent increase in her sex drive. She felt constantly aroused, often with no stimulation at all."No this isn't the beginning of a dirty joke.
Most people wouldn't consider hypersexuality a problem, but, in fact, it's a symptom of a deadly disease and the symptom doesn't show up until it's too late.
What awful thing could be behind this seemingly pleasant condition? In this case it was a bite from a puppy two months earlier who had rabies.
So if you're looking for a highly erotic good time, find someone with rabies (or a dog, skunk or bat if that's your thing). But don't expect to be around too long afterward to brag about it
unless, of course, you've had your vaccination.
Monday, October 24, 2011
Music starts at 1:50
Posted by Catch Her in the Wry at 5:52 AM
Sunday, October 23, 2011
From Sunday Stealing:
41. What is a quote that you love?
I said this before, but it's worth repeating: "A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others."
42. Do you think of pure hate as something humanity created?
If not man, then who? The Devil?
43. When was the last time you wanted to scream?
Sitting at a conference while the speaker read from the power point screen. I learned to read decades ago.
44. Do you ever at times see the world in black and white?
Quite often when I'm reading a book
45. Have you ever thought that cell phones are too obtrusive?
No, just some of the people using them.
46. In your life, where do you think the rainbow will end?
It will just dissolve into thin air.
47. What is something that you never want to do again?
Attend high school.
48.When was the first time you realized the world was small?
When I held the whole world in my hands.
49. How do you spend your time contemplating life’s mysteries?
I read science journals.
50. Ever discuss your political beliefs with people?
Yes. My voice of reason will never cease.
51. Do you care about the environment?
Who doesn't? But I think you're most likely a radical environmentalist asking a loaded question, and I'm not going to get into a debate with you and ruin my Sunday.
52. What's your motto for life?
Non, je ne regrette rien
53. Is progress destroying the beauty of the world?
Progress IS beauty.
54. Do you believe there is life somewhere else in the universe?
It's pretty big out there, so the probabilty is we're not alone.
55. Would you like to rule a country?
I'm not interested in being a politician or dictator. If nominated, I will not run; if elected, I will not serve.
56. Do you believe everything has a purpose?
Yes, a little Byrd(ie) told me so.
57. Is war ever for the best?
Only as a defense of our borders.
58. Could you kill anyone in defense of self or loved ones?
Yes, but I wouldn't enjoy it.
59. How do you react to people (Such as Governor Rick Perry) who don't believe global warming is really our fault?
I'd say welcome to my club.
60. Does love conquer all?
Only about 50% of the time. The rest get divorced.
61. Is euthanasia morally acceptable?
Only voluntary euthanasia. Involuntary euthanasia might be criminal.
62. Is world peace impossible?
History has proven that it is. There will always be crazy, power-hungry people wanting to rule the world.
63. Is pride a good or a bad thing?
Pride is good; egotism is bad. They are NOT the same.
64.What do you think is the purpose of your life?
to be or not to be
65. Do you believe in karma?
I believe you reap what you sow.
Monday, October 17, 2011
Yesterday morning I'm on my way to the big town. Lawful person that I am, I'm putt-putting along at the posted 55 mph and suddenly they start passing me. Geesh! The first one must be going at least 70, the second 75 or more. Very soon a third overcomes me - this one perhaps only 10 miles over. I encounter similar scofflaws any Sunday morning I'm on that road.
I am not traveling on an Interstate. This is a road with intersections every half mile and often has agriculture equipment traveling on it, especially this time of year.
Now you're probably thinking that these clowns are just trying to get home for some sleep after a wild Saturday night that lasted into early morning.
You could be wrong. But if you said these drivers were church-going people you'd be right.
Yes, these people are in a hurry to get to church. Catholic church. I know this because a whole two minutes later as I pass the Catholic church on the west side of the road, the suit and tie perpetrators are exiting their cars and heading into a building with a sign in front that says "Catholic Church".
It might be that they want to be first in line to confess their Saturday night antics, or perhaps to confess that they were speeding to the church in order to do so.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
From Sunday Stealing:
21. What was the last song you listened to that wasn’t sung in English?
22. One of our SS players generally leaves a critical comment on our memes. Which is fine. All's fair. Do you let meme authors know when you hate their memes?
By SS, do you mean Sunday Stealing, Social Security, Sunday School, Stainless Steel, Schutzstaffel, Steam Ship? How can I answer when you're being so vague?
23. What TV show would you like to be on?
24. What was the last video game you played?
Mario Brothers and yes, that was decades ago.
25. Have you ever been in a musical? If yes, do tell.
In junior high. I was in the chorus. We sang a lemonade song:
Lemonade, for a pretty maid,
Puts a sparkle in your eye like sun on jade.
and I don't remember the rest.
I did have the lead role in several high school plays and produced/directed a musical number for a variety show.
26. Do you follow your own style or everyone else’s?
How many times must I tell you that I'm not a follower.
27. What’s the last store you bought from?
Home improvement store for furnace filters, light bulbs, water softener salt and shelving.
28. In retrospect, have you ever let a person use you a lot?
My spouse uses me all the time for cooking, cleaning, laundry, and a whole lot more.
29. What are you doing two days from now?
I am not a clairvoyant, but the probabilities say I'll be at my office working.
31. When you graduated high school, did you let random people sign your yearbook or just close friends?
When you graduate from a small high school, most of the random people are your friends.
32. Would you consider adopting a child that had a mental illness?I'm too old to consider adopting ANY child.
33. Does thinking about death scare you?
Not death, just the possibility of suffering beforehand.
34. If you died, do you believe that you go to Heaven or Hell and where would your spirit go?
No, but I do plan to have eternal life on the Internet. Do you know how hard it is to delete something off the Internet?
35. Who did you last write a snail mail letter to and why?
Sympathy note - people keep dying
36. Do you care what people say or think about you?
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.
37. Have you ever been threatened?
Is a gun jammed against your forehead threatening?
38. Which side of your family do you get most of your qualities from?
I got the best and worst of both sides.
39. What was the last thing with alcohol that you drank?
I think it was a Tom & Jerry, but it tasted a bit mousy.
40. Have you ever kept a relationship a secret?
If I told you it wouldn't be a secret.
Posted by Catch Her in the Wry at 4:09 AM
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
"I'd rather rot on my own floor than be found by a bunch of bingo players in a nursing home.” Florence KingI really don't agree with that statement. I've been spending a great deal of time visiting a nursing home lately. We have three of them in our small community of 4600. There seems to be a never-ending supply of elderly here.
while at the same time you make many new friends.
The staff is always courteous and ready to assist you
even if you're vomiting or suffering from Montezuma's Revenge.
Each time you pull into port to take a little break from all the fun, a family member is there waiting with a hug. (And shame on those who are not.)
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Nipples have been in the news. Seems so many women are having trouble keeping the puppies in the den these days, especially when there are cameras around.
Nancy Grace, the over-bearing know-it-all TV legal consultant, had her own moment on Dancing with the Stars a couple weeks ago. Although cameras were rolling, she swears her nipple wasn't on display. It was a pastie or petal that we all thought was a nipple. She's been taking lessons from Bill Clinton: Sex isn't sex if it's oral and an exposed nipple isn't an exposed nipple if there's a bandage over it. Yes, that is the law's definition and that's why it's OK for strippers and beach babies to go topless as long as they have petals.
One fashion designer has brought a whole new problem to the legal system. She designed a dress entirely made of cow and yak nipples. Apparently no pasties are needed since they are animal nipples.
Monday, October 10, 2011
A little more Bobby Caldwell left from yesterday.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
From Sunday Stealing:
1. Is there someone in your life you know you’d be better off without?
No, that would be a complete waste of time to have them in it to begin with
2. Do you get criticized because of your body?
No, I'm just the right height or just the right weight (just not at the same time).
3. Did you kiss the last person you called?
No, but then I called my cat and she gave me a kitty-kiss.
4. When was the last time you danced?
5 minutes ago. Standing or seated, I dance to almost every tv commercial that has music.
5. Do you keep in mind other people’s feelings?
I'm an Empathic, so yeah.
6. If you have a hang nail, do you pull it or clip it?
I pinch it off with my fingernails.
7. Who do you want to forget?
I can't think of his name.
8. Who was the last person to send you a letter?
The IRS telling me I can e-file taxes again this year.
9. Who did you last tell to shut up?
Probably one of my brothers about 50 years ago.
10. What’s the last thing that you smelt that smelt bad?
I smelled smelt. Smelt smelled bad.
11. What’s your favorite cereal?
I may be the only person in the world who doesn't eat cereal.
12. How do you feel when people lead you on, but they don’t even like you?
I'm not a follower so I could care less.
13. Could you live without sunlight?
No. I need it for my photosynthesis, otherwise I'll turn yellow and the leaves fall off me. Oh, noooo.....
14. What’s something you know is bad, but you want to do it anyway?
Eat one more chocolate chip cookie.
15. What was the last thing you lied about?
My age. I told someone I was 85 and they said I looked great for my age.
16. Do you regret anything you’ve done in the past week?
No, but there's several things I regret that I didn't do.
17. What was the last movie you bought?
Why buy when you can rent or stream?
18. What is a sport you would like to do?
I would like to play tennis but it's a lost cause with amblyopia.
19. When was the last time you felt like crying?
April 2011. It was a bad month.
20. Have you ever wanted to kill someone (not that you actually do it)?
Kill, no; bitch-slap, yes.
Posted by Catch Her in the Wry at 2:01 PM