"Everything that is really great and inspiring is created by the individual who can labor in freedom" Albert Einstein

"A dame who knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up." Mae West

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Tuesday Titillation

The winner of the Bad Sex in Fiction Award from Britain's Literary Review goes to:

Irish writer Rowan Somerville, who upon winning said,

'There is nothing more English than bad sex, so on behalf of the nation, I thank you.'
I'll let you British readers comment on whether Mr. Somerville's analysis is correct.

His winning passages from his book The Shape of Her:
“Like a lepidopterist mounting a tough-skinned insect with a too blunt pin he screwed himself into her.”
"... her nipple poking out, upturned like the nose of the loveliest nocturnal animal, sniffing the night."
Ah, romance!

The other nominees included:

Freedom by Jonathan Franzen

The Slap by Christos Tsiolkas

The Golden Mean by Annabel Lyon

Maya by Alastair Campbell

A Life Apart by Neel Mukherjee

Heartbreak by Craig Raine

Mr Peanut by Adam Ross

You can read some of the nominated passages here.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Winter's Bone - movie review

It is rare to see a movie about a teenage girl who is self-reliant and emotionally strong.

"There's a bunch of stuff you're gonna have to get over being scared of."
the main character, Ree, tells her little brother as she teaches him how to skin a squirrel.

For the average teenager, they choose not to do things that aren't appealing to them and run from responsibility when they have a chance. Many adults do the same, for that matter.

Winter's Bone tells the story of meth cooking, gang violence, and the effects of poverty, but not in urban areas - the hills of Missouri's Ozark Mountains.

Jennifer Lawrence gives a powerful performance as 17 year old Ree, a high school drop-out trying to raise her younger siblings, dealing with a catatonic mother, and a drug-dealing, missing father.  This is a girl who doesn't want you to feel sorry for her.  She sees what needs to be done and she does it, she sets aside her own dreams, and doesn't want handouts.
" Never ask for what ought to be offered."
The engrossing story is simply of Ree's search for her missing father who has skipped bail, and their home her father put up as bond is now in danger of being taken away from the family.

The supporting characters are as interesting as Ree.  Dale Dickey, who is always perfect in white-trash roles (i.e. Patti the Day Time Hooker in My Name is Earl), portrays a tough woods-woman protecting her Ozark mob leader.  John Hawkes, the mild-mannered Jewish shop owner from Deadwood, is Teardrop, Rea's mean drug-addict uncle.

Winter's Bone won the Grand Jury Prize at the Sundance Film Festival this year.  It is available on DVD.  This is a must-see for teens and adults.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Wacky Wednesday Wisdom

"I love Thanksgiving turkey...it's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts." - Arnold Schwarzenegger
Which part of the turkey is your favorite?

Do you like breasts?

What about legs?

Perhaps you're a wing man.
The meatiest and juiciest parts are the thighs.
Then there are all those other parts.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Tuesday Titillation

This is old news, but it is worth repeating this time of year.

In an odor study of men ages 16-64, done in the1990s by Dr. Alan R. Hirsch, who directs the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago, the number one odor that enhanced penile blood flow was a combination of lavender and pumpkin pie, and pumpkin pie was the strongest stimulant on its own.

Other scents and their effects were:
•Lavender and pumpkin pie: 40%
•Doughnut and black licorice: 31.5%
•Doughnut and cola: 12.5%
•Lily of the valley: 11%
•Buttered popcorn: 9%
Forget about smothering yourself in cranberry sauce.  (Cranberry - 2%)

 If your man doesn't like pumpkin pie and is strictly a meat-eater, you could always wear a meat dress like Lady Gaga as long as he likes things rare.

Otherwise, try some Burger King "Flame" cologne that smells like cooked flame-broiled meat

and hand him a bottle of pumpkin ale

Football half-time on Thanksgiving Day could be better than the game itself.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Acoustical Rhapsody in Blue

Brazilian acoustical guitars performing America's George Gershwin classic.

It takes good eyes and patience to do this

How cool is this?  Dalton Ghetti, a carpenter by trade, makes beautiful, detailed art carvings in pencil tips using the graphite and sometimes the wood of the pencil.




You can see more of his art here.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Questions a la Randomness Meme

From Sunday Stealing:

Have you ever licked the back of a CD to try to get it to work?
I've licked and licked and it still won't pay me more than 2%.

What’s the largest age difference between yourself and someone you’ve dated?
Plus and minus 6 years

Have you ever been on a blind date?
No.  I have been on a deaf one, but I got hoarse. CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?

Do you have any friends that you’ve known for 10 years or more?
Almost all of them

Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?
No, they were way too old.

What song do you want played at your funeral?
No funeral - I'm going straight to the garbage pile.

But here's a list of songs that I hope will remind people of me:

No Regrets

Cabaret (no embedding allowed so you'll have to click on the link)

My Way

Autumn Leaves

Fields of Gold

Would you tell your parents if you were gay?
Not at their age; the shock would kill them

What would your last meal be before getting executed?
New York cheesecake, brownies, pound cake with raspberries, chocolate truffles, and bread pudding with rum sauce

Do you walk around the house naked?
Only once and then I go inside.  It gets mighty cold out there this time of year.

What do you do as soon as you walk in the house?
Put my clothes back on

Who is the person you can count on the most?
myself - usually on my fingers, but sometimes my toes if the numbers get high. 

You can count on me, too.

What is your favorite Holiday?

Would you ever get plastic surgery?
Nope. I want my face flexible so I can make silly faces.

Have you ever caught a fish?
Yes, the first time I every went fishing I caught several more trout than all the others I was, with despite the fact it took me 45 minutes to learn to cast my line.

What is the first thing you notice about people?
the kind of mood they're in  

What is the farthest you’ve been from home?

How did you meet your spouse or significant other (or most recent one)?
Classified ads. I've written about it before here.

Where was the last place you drove (other than home/school/work)?
The Goodwill Store to drop off some donations. It's that time of year.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Thursday Thoughts

Meg Whitman just settled the dispute with her former illegal alien maid for $5500.  You can bet that publicity loving, ambulance chaser, close friend of Jerry Brown, attorney Gloria Allred got her 50% of that huge settlement.

"Allred said Whitman and her neurosurgeon husband, Griffith Harsh, owed Diaz Santillan $8,000 to $10,000 for additional duties and expenses, such as mileage, beyond cleaning house. She claimed the maid was owed for grocery shopping, driving the couple's children around town and performing other errands during her nine-year employment. She did not release specifics about the settlement except to say that it did not include mileage."
Of course, Ms Allred makes good use of a photo shoot:
"Diaz Santillan's celebrity attorney, Gloria Allred, stood by and held Diaz Santillan close to her with one arm, never letting go. Another arm would have made it a bear hug."
Originally, the issue was that Whitman knowingly hired an illegal alien to work for her yet campaigning against the hiring of them.  Whitman claimed the subject of the maid was brought to public light just before the election in which she was running for governor against Jerry Brown and she alleged that Brown supporters (including Allred) were behind it.

Whitman denied she knowingly hired an illegal alien. She had used an employment agency which assured her that through their vetting process none of their employees were illegal.  When Whitman's husband had received notices from the IRS about Santillan's employment, Santilla assured them she had responded and resolved the inquiries.  Finally Whitman discovered that Santillan had lied about her residency and she immediately fired Santillan.  She even had documentation proving all this.  If she had kept employing her, Whitman would have been in deep trouble with immigration and IRS officials.

The media raked Whitman over the coals for firing a 9 year employee with no notice, and Allred milked it for all its worth describing Santillan as " like a member of their family."  Whitman was in a no-win situation - she did what she was legally required to do and her opponents spun it into a class war of big wealth against poor innocent immigrant (albeit liar) just trying to eke out a living in America.

Apparently Whitman was in the right, because there is no charge of hiring an undocumented worker and Ms. Allred had to find a way somehow to get paid:
"Dennis Brown, Whitman's attorney in the matter, described the $5,500 settlement as "routine" for this sort of pay dispute. He said the only reason the issue was heard was because there were no time cards involved and he emphasized that the settlement does not mean Whitman and her husband admit wrongdoing"
I am not a supporter of either political party, but I am sick and tired of this type of political maneuvering in which the public is manipulated into thinking that some crime has been committed when it has not.

Something very similar happened in the Illinois governor's race when Illinois current governor Quinn's supporters spent thousands of dollars on ads stating that his opponent had not paid any income taxes. The ads made it sound like his opponent had done something illegal or was skipping out on taxes due.

Quinn's opponent was a real estate developer and we all know what happened in the real estate market over the past few years.  His business had tremendous losses which wiped out any income he earned as a state senator and consequently resulted in a net loss (zero taxable income) on his tax return.

It all comes back to political parties (and it just happens that it is the Democratic Party in both these cases) using class envy as a way to destroy candidates.  It used to be that in this country women who rose up the corporate ladder were touted as heroines and businessmen who took risk, hired employees, and made money were admired.  Now people want to destroy them. 

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Don Draper - What a man!

I was too busy looking at him to notice all the times he said "What."

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Tuesday Titillation

There are vibrating hammers, but getting hammered by a vibrator is a whole different thing.

An Illinois woman has a few drinks at a restaurant called Joe's Crab Shack and allegedly skipped out on the bill.  The report didn't indicate if she had crabs or not.

A police investigator was called to the scene and found the woman lying nearby in the grass apparently intoxicated.  She didn't have any money with her so the investigator accompanied the woman to her apartment.  When she reached into her drawer to get her money for the unpaid bill, she instead pulled out a " clear, rigid, feminine pleasure device" and tried to assult the police officer with it.

"She was charged with aggravated assault against an officer, a misdemeanor.  Bildsten was also charged with theft of labor or services for walking out on the Crab Shack bill, Patrick said. She was also charged being under the influence while walking on public roadways."

Jeez, what's a girl to do? It's illegal to drive OR walk when drunk.

As a result of this new repurposing of  pleasure devices, and due to Illinois concealed carry laws, all women in the state are banned from carrying their vibrators in their purses for protection unless the batteries have been removed and stored elsewhere.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Decorating advice plus Music Monday

When adding a new family member to your home, it is always important that she coordinate well with the woodwork and furnishings.


Sunday, November 14, 2010

Another 14 question meme

From Sunday Stealing:

1. Lots of pillows or just one? Describe your pre-sleeping rituals.
One for sleeping; many for decorative purposes.  Get undercover, shut off light, sleep.

2. What kind of books do you read?
hard cover, soft cover, and electronic

3. What are your neighbors like?
Perfect - they wave hello and mind their own business. OK, the little girl screams and squeals alot, but she's cute and charming so I'll forgive that part.

4. What's really creepy to you?
Some guy adjusting his crotch while he's talking to me.
5. What's your current fandom/obsession/addiction?
Purging.  You have been warned.

6. Do you prefer your junk food sweet, salty or savory?
a Salty Woman prefers salty food

7. What was the last expensive thing you bought?
It's been so long ago, I forgot.

8. What is your greatest fear?
That I'll lose my memory. Oops.

9. Do you get cravings? If so, what do you crave?
Brownie -

but not this:

or this:

or this:

but this:

10. What do you do to change your mood?
There's only one way I get Moody:

11. What was the last meal you ate that you loved?
Portabella mushroom stuffed with sauteed spinach and tomatoes served atop couscous, accompanied with skewered grilled figs and brie cheese  mmmmmmmmm

12. Do you want to learn another language? If so, why?
Klingon - just for fun

13. What's something that you'd like to say to someone right now?
Would you like fries with that?

14. What are you looking forward to?
The most wonderful time of year.  Care to waltz?

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Wacky Wednesday

Finally a nutritionist developed a diet we can all relate to: days filled with eating Hostess Twinkies and Cupcakes, Little Debbie Snack Cakes, Doritos and Oreos.  The idea was to see whether dieting strictly by calorie counting and not by nutrition would yield weight loss and poor health.

 Here's a sample day:
Espresso, Double: 6 calories; 0 grams of fat
Hostess Twinkies Golden Sponge Cake: 150 calories; 5 grams of fat
Centrum Advanced Formula From A To Zinc: 0 calories; 0 grams of fat
Little Debbie Star Crunch: 150 calories; 6 grams of fat
Hostess Twinkies Golden Sponge Cake: 150 calories; 5 grams of fat
Diet Mountain Dew: 0 calories; 0 grams of fat
Doritos Cool Ranch: 75 calories; 4 grams of fat
Kellogg's Corn Pops: 220 calories; 0 grams of fat
whole milk: 150 calories; 8 grams of fat
baby carrots: 18 calories; 0 grams of fat
Duncan Hines Family Style Brownie Chewy Fudge: 270 calories; 14 grams of fat
Little Debbie Zebra Cake: 160 calories; 8 grams of fat
Muscle Milk Protein Shake: 240 calories; 9 grams of fat
Totals: 1,589 calories and 59 grams of fat

In two months of eating this stuff, he lost 27 pounds and his body mass and other health indicators changed for the good, not for the worse as the nutritionist had hoped.
"I wish I could say the outcomes are unhealthy. I wish I could say it's healthy. I'm not confident enough in doing that. That frustrates a lot of people. One side says it's irresponsible. It is unhealthy, but the data doesn't say that."
I'm a person who believes in numbers and numbers don't lie. So now you have scientific data to back up your junk food diet. Bon appetit!

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Tuesday Titillation

Monarchs are a lot like politicians.  They have their proper public sides with lengthy marriages to adoring spouses, while behind the scenes they're keeping company with mobsters, strippers and prostitutes at sex parties. This time it's 64 year old King Gustaf of Sweden. Married to his lovely wife for 34 years and proud father of three beautiful eye-candy children.

In a new unauthorized bio  ("Carl XVI Gustaf - The Reluctant King")  which has already sold out its first printing, the investigative authors allege the King had numerous affairs, sometimes bedding down with multiple women at the same time.  Apparently the King would have elaborate dinners followed by lap dances in hot tubs and bedroom trysts.  They also allege he had an affair with a Swedish singer, Camilla Hennemark (from the group Army of Lovers), with whom he had fallen love love and wanted to run off with her to a far away island. Here she is playing nurse:

But the Swedes are sticking by their King, even though he hasn't denied the allegations.

"Over 80 per cent say the lurid allegations have not changed their perception of the king - and almost 50 per cent say that it is wrong for journalists to look into the private lives of their royal family."
As for the King, he said ""We're turning the page, much like you do in your newspapers, and look ahead instead...because we have certain duties to fulfill and we have work almost every day."

So if nothing else, the new biography answers our questions of exactly what kind of work royals engage in every day.

Monday, November 8, 2010

You Go, Girl!

I dislike most politicians, but every once in a while someone comes along that I feel could shake things up a bit and change the system.

This year that person was Kristin M. Davis, a woman who ran for governor of New York, but sadly came in 6th of 7 candidates.  The masses simply are ready for real freedom yet.

Ms. Davis is a former madam of one of the prostitution rings that another politician, Elliott Spitzer, brought to public scrutiny.  As a result, Davis was convicted of promoting prostitution and served a four month sentence.  She contended that Spitzer was a former client, but he had been blacklisted because of his behavior to her girls.

She is no dummy: graduated from high school at the top of her class at age 15, got a degree from St. Mary's College, spent ten years working in a hedge fund starting as a trading assistant and working her way up to VP. She started her escort service at age 28 and built it into a multi-national $5 million dollar a year business.
"When I got out of jail I was broke, the government confiscated all of my money, I was unemployable because of the stigma prostitution has for women in the business but not men, and I was appalled after seeing both the criminal justice and corrections system up close. I began reading Goldwater, Hayek, Von Mises, Freidman and Ayn Rand."
She made good use of her time reading all the right books, in my opinion.

Originally she was going to run on the Libertarian ticket, but she refused to appear at their party's convention, and as a result was not put on their slate. So she started her own political party, The Anti-Prohibition Party.
Her platform included legalizing marijuana, prostitution, gay marriage, and casino gambling. Sort of the anti-Christine O'Donnell.

She made the candidate's debate lively with her one-liner wit and  blond jokes and ripped her competition with remarks such as:
“The key difference between the M.T.A. (Metropolitan Transportation Authority) and my former escort agency is I operated one set of books and I offered on-time and reliable service,”
“Businesses will leave the state faster than Carl Paladino at a gay bar.”
I hope we will see more of Kristin in the future. Although some may think she's a bit wacky because of her view, she appears to be one of the biggest advocates of real freedom in the political arena. And she has more brains, wit, and initiative than Christine O'Donnell.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

The 14 Question Meme

From Sunday Stealing:

1. What do you consider your hometown to be?

a small pimple on the prairie

2. What’s the hardest part of your average day?
walking in the dark down to my parents' house to fix their breakfast

3. The easiest? Why?
Going to bed 'cause I'm sleepy. (I bet you thought it was for some other reason)

4. What beverage do you reach for to quench your thirst?
water or The Real Thing that things go better with.

5. What is one not-so-secret goal you have for your life? I’ll let you keep your secret ones to yourself.
To stay alive another 40 years

6. What physical pain do you fear most? For example, I’m trying to decide how bad my jaw pain needs to get before I risk a potential needle from my dentist. So, for me, throbbing is preferable to jabbing.
Sore throat. I have a very high pain tolerance for everything else.

7. Where do you find solace?
in my vehicle

8. What makes you the saddest when you read/see the news?
that the reporting is so biased

9. What do you eat for a favorite snack?

10. What movie could you/would you watch more than two or three times and still enjoy just as much as the first time?
Wizard of Oz and I've watched it over two dozen times

11. What boy/girl first made you cry?
My brother

12. What brand of coffee/tea do you drink most often?
I don't drink coffee/tea. I get caffeine elsewhere (see #4).

13. Dig in the dirt with or without garden gloves?
Without - I like to get down and dirty once in a while.

14. James Taylor or Carly Simon?
Carly - a lot of talent in one package

Friday, November 5, 2010

Busting Stereotypes

Former cheerleaders in science: