"Everything that is really great and inspiring is created by the individual who can labor in freedom" Albert Einstein

"A dame who knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up." Mae West

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Tuesday Titillation

A local restaurant down the road recently held their Prairie Oyster, aka Rocky Mountain Oyster, night to a packed crowd.  In Serbia they call the delicacy White Kidneys, but they don't hide the truth in the name of their festival: the 7th Annual  "World Testicle Cooking Championship."

"This festival is all about fun, food and bravery," said Ljubomir Erovic, the Serbian chef who organises the event in Ozrem and has published a testicle cookery book."
They weren't serving your ordinary deep fried balls that you find in the Midwest.

"The festival includes dishes such as testicle pizza and testicles in bechamel sauce flavoured with a variety of herbs found in the region."
For you fellas out there, here's a test to your manhood.  See if you can watch this short video about harvesting the oyster without squirming in your seat.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Music Monday

After seeing this, I am not ashamed to admit that I use Pantene productshttp://www.pantene.com/en-US/ for my hair.  They not only make great shampoo (I'm not getting paid to say that) but they make inspiring commercials - a deaf-mute girl overcomes difficulties and learns to play the violin.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Vinyl is dead

Some of us just can't give up our old vinyl albums.  Even with our CD collections and Ipods, there's something about the scratchy sounds of the record and the beautiful art of the album covers that are wistfully nostalgic.  Now there's something new in vinyl to attract all us baby boomers as we approach our final years.

A company in England, "And Vinyly,"  will mix your body ashes into vinyl particles and produce a vinyl album of you. 

According to a WiredUK article:
The process of setting human ashes into vinyl involves a very understanding pressing plant. Basically the ashes must be sprinkled onto the raw piece of vinyl (known as a “biscuit” or “puck”) before it is pressed by the plates. This means that when the plates exert their pressure on the vinyl in order to create the grooves, the ashes are pressed into the record.
You can pick your own playlist, including your favorite songs or sounds or even your own voice or your last will and testament. They'll even design an album cover or write an original song for you.

If you used to think you were groovy back in the 1960's, now you can prove it to your friends and family for eternity.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Wacky Wednesday Wisdom

"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want." ~Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes

Some workaholics don't know how to do nothing, but Wikihow has the answers.

If you need nothing, you can get some here.

You can even watch Nothing: "We can't be dead, we have cable."

Discover magazine has 20 Things You Didn't Know about Nothing including "something is mostly nothing."

Buddha insists you should believe nothing:

"Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense. "
However, nothing compares to you.

I'm not a "do-nothing type of gal" or an "all or nothing person". I prefer Something.

And that is nothing but the truth, but does that make me nothing special?

 I simply have nothing left to say.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Tuesday Titillation

This is the third week of Tuesday Titillation and I don't agree with Bill Moyers who said:

"Once you decide to titillate instead of illuminate . . . you create a climate of expectation that requires a higher and higher level of intensity."

I doubt my readers expect anything but a low level of titillation every Tuesday.  Also,I believe if you set the titillation bar truly low, it can also be illuminating.  Take this little video:

Monday, August 23, 2010

Music Monday #3

A little Creole Country to start off the week - featuring accordian music that I can actually tolerate.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Majorly Personal Meme - Part 1

As always, from Sunday Stealing:

1. Are you happier now than you were five months ago?
I am no sadder now than I was then.

2. Have you ever slept in the same bed with anyone that you shouldn't have?
Not in the same bed, but in the same bedroom

3. Can you sleep in total darkness?
No problem. It's napping in daylight hours that's rare for me

4. Your phone is ringing. It’s the person you fell hardest for, the one who got away, what do you say?  I say," Hello. Hello. Hello."

5. What do you think about the weather this summer?
Long, hot, and steamy

6. How many people do you trust with everything?
No one, and if anyone says more than that, they didn't watch X-Files

7. What was the last thing you drank?
Water  I know. I know.  I'm such a bore.

8. Is there anyone you want to come see you?
Yes, and she'll be here in a couple weeks

9. Name one thing you love about winter.
I get to start doing income tax returns.

10. Have you ever dated a Goth?
Not yet, but who knows what the future holds.

11. What are you looking forward to tomorrow?
Another 24 hours of living

12. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having?
Nothing, so far so good; ask me later.

13. What's the longest that you have committed to one person and one person only?
18 years and counting

14. What’s the first thing you did when you opened your eyes today?
Looked at the ceiling

15. Has anyone ever told you they never want to ever lose you?
No, but I have been told to get Lost.

16. Is there anybody that you wish you could fix your relationship with?
That would be wishful thinking.

17. Could you go out in public, looking like you do now?
Yes, I always wear the same face.

18. Do you think things will change in the next 3 months? How?
Yes, it will be autumn and turkey time.

19. Do you believe that you never know what you got until you lose it?
No, deep down you always know what you have.

20. Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?
About what?

Friday, August 20, 2010

Friday Frenzy - #2 This and That

If you think you've aged over the years, check out this slide show of rock stars then and now. It might make you feel better about yourself.


08/20/1920 Professional football was first organized. Seven men — including football star Jim Thorpe — met in Canton, Ohio, and formed the American Professional Football Conference (APFC), the precursor to the National Football League (NFL). College football was much more popular back then, and it took decades for the professional circuit to gain popularity. Now Americans can't seem to get enough of both college and professional games.
Back when I was young, boys were allowed to have all the fun...

and girls were stuck with this...

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Thursday Thoughts -- #2 The Eyes Have It at Public Meetings

In the great State of Illinois, local politics are often more interesting than national politics.  There is currently an amusing uproar in the Chicago suburb of Elmhurst.  You can read an attorney's take on the situation here.

Apparently a female citizen was denied the right to speak at a city finance meeting, so she heaved a loud sigh and rolled her eyes before she sat down.

"Eye-rolling conveys a message, typically something like 'I believe that what you just said and/or did is utterly stupid and its stupidity went well beyond what I, as a reasonable human being, should be expected to bear.' (Actual content may vary.)"
Now the council has authorized the city attorney to investigate adding eye-rolling to the definition of "disorderly conduct"  at a government meeting. Yep, you just can't have public citizens at government meetings all roll their eyes at once; it might shake the poor politicians right out of their seats and distract their shallow minds from the important business at hand.

"Many are rightly concerned with the potential freedom-crushing power of the federal government, but let us not forget the evil that can be done by even the lowest of low-level officials wielding a mere city code. "
The problem is there are various types of eye-rolling and most are combined with other body language, so regulating this behavior could get complicated and perhaps require the hiring of a new department head of Eye-Rolling Enforcement.

Here are my suggestions for the Eye-Rolling ordinance:

1.  If the citizen simply rolls his eyes, there would be no charge brought against him. It's probably just an eye disorder.

2.  If the citizen rolls his eyes and sighs with a breathy "Ohhhhhhh" and slumps in the chair, there would be no charge. The citizen is most likely simply exhausted from a long day of working to pay his taxes, which is commendable.

3.  If the citizen rolls his eyes and sighs with a distinguishable "Umpfffffff!" and crosses his arms, there would be a chargeable offense.  This indicates the citizen is unhappy with the powers that be and may publicly ask substantive questions that would require answers.

4.  If the citizen rolls his eyes and sighs with a distinguishable "Hmmmmm," tilts his head to the side, purses his lips to one side, and puts one finger on his cheek, there would be charges.  This indicates the citizen may be indulging in critical thinking and analysis . Logic and reason are forbidden at any government affair.

(The above woman is not a critical thinker.  She is an actress portraying her idea of one.)

Caveat to officials:  Regarding #2 -It should be noted that if the ordinance allows the release of audible air during a meeting without charging the culprit, the public may take advantage of the situation and release flatulent air as substitute for chargeable eye-rolling actions.  In that case, it may be in the best interest of officials to form a Department of Funky Air to monitor emissions.

There is always a government solution for every problem.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Wacky Wednesday Wisdom - #2

"The world is mud-luscious and puddle-wonderful. "
e. e. cummings

The fun just changes as one gets older.  Adults get
 mud wrestling....

and truck muddin'...

and mud spas...

and mud slinging...

and Muddy Waters...

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Tuesday Tittillation

From the Star Tribune in Minneapolis/St. Paul comes this juicy bit of news:

An attorney and his Lutheran pastor wife listed their home for sale with a Realtor and then ran off to London for a four month holiday.

"While they were gone, they allege in a lawsuit filed last week, their real estate agent used their house and possessions for "unauthorized sexual escapades," staining their sheets, couch, carpet and other surfaces."
Neighbors had noticed a light on in a bedroom and talked to the Realtor, who was in the house, and said he was getting ready for an open house the next day. The Realtor was seen leaving with another gentleman.
"A brown leather sofa, two nearby chairs and two end tables appeared to have been recently stained or soiled. A stairway rug was similarly soiled, as were the sheets in the master bedroom.  Used towels were strewn around the bathroom. An open bottle of lotion was in the kitchen."
The pastor's negligee was also soiled. ( Ewwww! Not sure which image is worse in my head - a member of the clergy in a negligee or a strange guy in her negligee.)

The real estate office spent $7,482 to cover the damages.

Now the couple can't stay in the home.
"Since returning home in June, the family has tried to sleep in the house but found they couldn't stomach it. Instead, they've stayed with friends and relatives and are closing on a new house next week."
I'll bet they bought the new house from a different Realtor.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Music Monday

This is shura real fun number from a the Lawrence Welk Show.

21 year old JoAnn Castle with her flying fingers playing American ragtime.

And she only got better with age (27)

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Crafty 50 Meme, Part 2

From Sunday Stealing:

26. What do you normally smell like? Stale cigarette smoke, alcohol, litter box and old socks. I bet you're one of those guys who smell people's butts when they're bent over, you pervert.

27. Do you like Carrie Underwood?
I don't know her personally, but I enjoy her voice.

28. Been to “The Vegas”?
several times - Only gambled once. I bet a dollar and won twelve, then quit. Very good return on the investment.

29. How far away do you live from your parents?
1/2 block and that's handy when you're doing eldercare

30. Are you happy with your job?
Yes.  I'll take this job and love it.

31. Where do you work and what do you do there?
I work for me and I can do anything I want.

32. What did you get in the mail today?
snail mail - junk; email - electronic messages

33. How do you like your steak cooked?
medium, over charcoal, by a hot, sweaty, 60 year old male

34. Britney Spears…is she back?
front and center

35. What do you usually order at Taco Bell?
crunchy taco fresco; everything else on the menu is junk

36. Have you ever sat all the way through Gone With the Wind?
many times, and yet still "I don't know nothin' 'bout birthin' babies!"

37. Have you ever been to Mt Rushmore?
Yes, but we called it the "Four Faces"

38. Is it just me, or was The Marine (w/John Cena) a really horrible movie?
What? Who?

39. Are surveys like the cocaine of myspace?
Myspace? I thought it was dead.

40. Where is your favorite place (that you have actually been to)?
my bed

(This is not my real bedroom, but I like it. I'm not putting a picture of my real bedroom on the Internet.)

41. What is your favorite candle scent
Scented candles make my nose itch and give me sensory overload because I have a nose like a dog. 

Anyway, candles are major causes of house fires so I stay away from them whenever possible.

42. Do you believe places can really be haunted?
Only in the cobwebs of your mind

43. Do you smoke cigarettes?
Candy ones and I've been know to eat them too.

44. Have you ever been to NYC or LA?
Yes, both, and I wouldn't want to live in either place

45. How many states have you been to where all you saw was the airport?

46. Do you think 50 questions is enough?
It's all too much

47. Are you currently planning a trip?
To the bathroom, but I'm using GPS

48. Is Ryan Seacrest gay? Should anyone care?
I don't plan to date or have sex with him, so why should I care?

49. Do you take anti-depressants? Sleeping pills?
I'm one of the few people in the world who isn't medicated on anything.

50. What do you think about space travel?
It takes a rocket scientist.

Friday, August 13, 2010

More Monkey Business News

First I write this post about monkeys. Then today I write a post about people protesting businesses.

Now comes this.  Chrysler  has changed its Dodge tent event commercial because PETA objected to them using a monkey to blow up confetti.  I'm not sure why they objected. The monkey appeared to be disguised in a chimp costume.
Here's the original commercial:

Here's the revised one:

Friday Frenzy

Liberals are protesting in front of Target stores because the corporation gave $150,000 to a pro-business Republican candidate's campaign.  Other corporations, such as Curves, have blatantly supported conservative issues, and there are no protesters to be seen in front of their storefronts.

Perhaps Target is being targeted because it wears a target on its back.
If you've noticed someone stalking you at the movies over the years, it was probably Alfred Hitchcock (born today in 1899).

This is as frightening as a Hitchcock movie, unless you're a government employee:
Never buy into the argument that government workers are being paid high salaries because they could earn more in the private job arena. USA Today has this article with the facts.  And recently our Illinois governor gave raises to his staff even though the State is broke.
I like Ayn Rand's novels and philosophy, but this guy took his enthusiasm a bit far. Using his GPS he issued a global message on Google Earth by driving 22,238 miles through 30 states.  Although flattering, I'm not sure Rand would have approved of this.  There are much better ways to be more productive with one's time and abilities.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Thursday Thoughts - No Eat, Pray, Love For Me

Eat, Pray, Love, the movie, is now in theaters. I don't plan to see it, I don't want to see it, I never had any desire to see it.  Especially after watching an interview with the author of the book, Elizabeth Gilbert. She seemed to be a whiny, self-absorbed woman who thought the way to deal with life is running from it, which is no surprise based upon her troubles in life prior to her travels.

Per Barnes & Noble website:

"Biography: Known for her in-depth profiles for magazines from Harper's Bazaar to GQ, Elizabeth Gilbert has developed a reputation for relaying what makes people tick, both in her reportage and her acclaimed works of fiction."

So she understands "what makes people tick", but she had to take a whole year off traveling around the world to find herself. Pu-leeze.

Movies about crazy, desperate women, high on hormones and blame of others for their problems and their search for "spirituality", is not the type of movie that is going to hold my interest. However, the movie will probably make a great deal of money because America's Sweetheart, Julia Roberts, is the star and every woman but me loves a chick flick.

Here's a great comedic review of the movie that is much more enjoyable than 90 minutes of torture one can expect at the theater:

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Wacky Wednesday Wisdom

"Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town."

George Carlin

Police bulletin describes:

"the subject as two feet tall, weighing eight pounds, clad only in blue pants and prone to sleeping in trees."

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Tuesday Titillation

It gets harder and harder to find a good woman once you're over 60, so this guy got himself a fake woman and had a good time on a public park bench Sunday morning. It brings a new meaning to Sunday morning services.

Deputies say Campbell was sitting on a park bench with an armless mannequin on his lap, holding it with one hand -- pleasuring himself with the other.  When the deputy identified himself, Campbell stopped, pushed the mannequin off him and pulled his pants up.  All of this happened in a residential area and close to a church, according to Deputies.

It's a creepy version of Lars and the Real Girl.  Lars' girl was a missionary.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Music Monday (Earworm Alert!)

Sunday, August 8, 2010

What aging should be

At 88, she's been mayor for 31 years and the town has no debt. She may be a politician, but I think I like her despite that fact:.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Crafty 50 Meme, Part 1

From Sunday Stealing:

1.  Introduce yourself…
Catch Her in the Wry, aka Prairie Gourmet.  Jill of all trades, master of many

2. It’s Wednesday at noon, where are you usually?
lunch at home with friends

3. What kind of laundry detergent do you use?
concentrated liquid and I'm not telling you the brand in case you're doing market research

4. What brand of shampoo is in your shower right now?
Mine or his?

5. Did you ever get into a bar and drink before you were 21?
Back in the olden days you didn't need to be 21.

6. What countries have you been to?
Not many: Italy, Greece, Canada, Mexico, and all over the U.S. Traveling just takes entirely too much time away from work.

7. Do you watch MTV anymore?
Never have, never will.

8. What do you think about Oprah?
A woman who knew what she wanted and went after it.  I disagree with her on almost everything, and she won't buy my love with her free gifts.

9. What color are your bed sheets?

10. You need a new pair of jeans: what store do you go to first?
Wherever there is a sale

11. Did you ever watch The O.C.?
Never have, never will.

12. What kind of car do you drive?
I drive a pickum up truck so I can haul stuff

13. Honestly, is that car insured?
I'm a licensed insurance agent. What do you think?

14. Do you like sushi?
I only like raw fish that has been pickled (herring). Give me a break; I'm of Scandinavian heritage, not Japanese.

15. Have you ever been to Tiffany & Co. or Saks 5th Ave?
I may be from the country, but we do get to the big city once in a while.

16. Did your parents spoil you growing up?
Not one bit.

17. Do you like roller coasters?
As long as I'm not on them.
18. What magazine(s) do you buy regularly or subscribe to?
Does anyone subscribe to magazines these days?

19. Do you remember the WB show “Popular”?
Good lord! All these TV questions. You're assuming everyone has cable TV or is under 40.

20. When you go out do you prefer to go to a dance club or to a bar?
I'm not under 40. Give me a bar that's dark and elegant like this:

21. What do you think about gay marriage?
I think every marriage should be happy; if not get divorced.

22. Who do you think will be the next president?
Either a Republican or Democrat.

23. Are you registered to vote?
Yes, but I haven't voted since I became enlightened.

24. Do you own an iPod?
No. I like my turntable. (You don't even know what that is, do you?)

25. Is your bathroom filled with beauty stuff?
Yes, white pancake make-up,dark red lip stick, black eyeliner, rubber noses, and ruffly collars.

Union fights for teacher support

This AP article illustrates just how important unions are these days.  There's a battle in Milwaukee school system to reinstate health coverage for Viagra.

"A consultant for the school board has estimated that reinstating the drug benefit would cost $786,000 per year — the cost to keep perhaps a dozen first-year teachers employed."

"Other options such as penile pumps and implants included in the plans "are far less desirable than oral medication," the filing said. "
This at a time when the school system is having financial difficulties.
"Citing a "financial crisis" caused by exploding benefit costs and revenue shortfalls, the district's outgoing superintendent proposed laying off 682 employees in April."

Do male teachers really need free Viagra when they spend all day teaching teenage girls?  I know some parents who would much prefer eunuchs.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Metal Mouth

Aluminum foil was first developed at the beginning of the 20th century, with early commercial uses as bands for indentifying racing pigeons and later as packaging for LifeSavers candy.

My mother tells me that after WWII, aluminum foil became the hottest item every homemaker wanted and used in her kitchen.  So popular, that for one of the local women's clubs luncheons, she and her table decor committee covered bread loaf pans with aluminum foil (for the sparkle effect) and filled them with fresh flowers, causing  resounding oooo's and aaaaaaah's.  This was also about the time that aluminum trays were designed and frozen dinners became another must-have household item.  Aluminum became an American household institution.

I have a love/hate relationship with aluminum foil.  I, too, have used it for reasons other than cooking and storage purposes. I've made crowns and stars by covering carboard with the stuff.  I've put it on the end of an antenna to get better TV reception and wadded it into balls for cat toys. I have even made little frilly aluminum leggings for a crown roast of pork. 

What I don't like about aluminum foil is eating it or eating from it. 

Many restaurants purchase bulk potatoes wrapped in aluminum foil.  There is no question that Idaho or sweet potatoes are tastier when roasted in the foil.  But, invariably, the restaurants will never take the time to remove the foil before serving them. Even worse, the cook will slice the potato open while the foil is still on it, delivering slivers of aluminum into the potato opening to be found only after taking one's first bite.

Now an American restaurant chain, Cracker Barrel, is serving dinners in foil to their customers.

No thanks. If I'm dining out, I want real plates. And if I want heavy metal, I'll go to a concert.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

R.I.P. Bobby Hebb August 3, 2010

Writer and singer of a classic oldie:

He also wrote this smooth jazzy number:

Monday, August 2, 2010

Alone and lonely are not the same thing

I enjoy being alone, but I'm never lonely. That's a good thing because recently I've had to spend a great deal of time by myself. 

Last year I wrote a post about alone time.  Then this video surfaced on You-Tube a few days ago and says it so much better than I did:

Sunday, August 1, 2010

28 Question Meme

Courtesy of Sunday Stealing:
1. Was your dad named after anyone?
No. Even he doesn't particularly like the moniker.

2. What do you think is the minimal age to get married?

3. What’s the longest time that you‘ve been involved with the same person?
30 minutes - I get bored easily

4. What actor/actress do you consider hot at the moment?
That's a silly question.

5. What is your favorite album by a band?
Beatles White Album

6. What is your favorite album by an individual artist?
Most recently it's Diana Krall's older "When I Look in Your Eyes"

7. What is something that you‘d rather be a bit dirty?
Hubby, and he often is a bit dirty (sweaty and stinky from a hard days work, that is)

8. What was the last TV show that you watched?
The Office

9. How many people have you met from the blogosphere? Who are they?
2  - Crockhead and Lori   Both intelligent, interesting, and funny.

10. What's your philosophy on life?
Complain about your life, blame everyone else, and ask the government for assistance. Notice how many people are taking my advice these days?

11. Do you think prescription drugs are over prescribed?
If people would just quit running to the doctor for every little ache, you wouldn't even need to ask this question.

12. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?
If can I handle the truth, so should you.

13. What is your favorite memory in the last year?
I  have no memories at all of the last year, only sleep, eat, elder care, work, sleep, eat, elder care, work.....

14. What is your favorite guilty pleasure?
Please, this is a public blog. I'm keeping my mouth shut.

15. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
I'm not that interesting in person.

16. You can have three wishes (for yourself, so forget all the 'world peace etc' malarkey) - what are they?
I think I'm totally satisfied, so pass the wishing on to someone else.

17. Who would you want to get together with and make a cake?
Daughter #1, who makes a great old-fashioned pineapple up-side down cake, with cherries, of course.
18. Which country is your spiritual home?
just plain rural country

19. What is your big weakness?
being uncomfortable in social situations

20. Do you think Judd Corizan is a good person?
He looks like an avatar so I don't think he's even real, let alone good.

21. What was your best/favorite subject at school?
English and Latin (oops, that's two)

22. Describe your accent:
I'm from the Midwest. We have no accents. It's everyone else who can't speak properly.

23. If you could change anything about yourself, would you?
I've said this before. I'd keep the interior, but trade in the exterior for this:

24. What do you wear to sleep?
A picture says it all:

25. What is your favorite casual outfit to wear?
see above

26. Do you use cigarettes or alcohol?
In our household we have been known to buy cigarettes as props for hubby's cigarette smokers comedy routine about the various ways to smoke and hold them. We never, ever light the things.

Alcohol? Well, I'm a cheap drunk. One drink and I'll say yes to anything, so I limit consumption to only a few times a year to maintain some sense of dignity.

27. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together? (If you have no idea, just say something crazy, it'll entertain me!)
If you only had one day to live, why would you want to spend it with me? I think you should just do want you want and leave me out of it.

28. Rate the memes that you play generally. Use any scale or just in order
1. Sunday Stealing
2. Sunday Stealing
3. Sunday Stealing