"A dame who knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up." Mae West
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Monday, March 22, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
2081: based on Kurt Vonnegut's "Harrison Bergeron". Tammy Bruce's cinematic debut. Reviews have been good.
I haven't seen it yet, but hopefully very soon.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
My new year actually starts January 15. That's generally the first day tax practioners can begin efiling. From that date until March 15 is always a whirlwind of paper shuffling, computations, crying, laughing and empathizing with clients' lives.
And if you think April 15 is the only deadline, you'd be wrong. Within those first eight weeks is the deadline for W-2 and 1099 forms, the deadline for sending those reports to the IRS & Social Security, March 1 for farm tax returns, and March 15 for corporations, partnerships, and trusts. Add to the mix every Tom, Dick, and Harry that knows he's getting a refund and wants it yesterday and it results in the busiest eight weeks each and every year. I'm not complaining; if I didn't truly enjoy it, I would quit in a heartbeat, but I love my work and my clients (well, most of them.)
The eight week period has been a bit more challenging this year. Approximately 4 out of 5 tax returns in the first few weeks had reportable unemployment compensation. Clients were depressed, emotionally drained, and scared of the prospect of no income when the unemployment runs out. Some had marriages that were in deep trouble. They appreciated an empathetic ear and additional appointment time to share their sorrows. (No extra charge for the wet shoulder).
Then in January, my mother had a medical emergency that landed her in the hospital for a few days. That brought some sleepless nights and extra work to make sure my father had what he needed while she was gone.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
From Sunday Stealing again:
1. What were doing 10 years ago? Wondering what it would be like to be 60
2. Five snacks that you enjoy in a perfect, non weight-gaining world: Coca-Cola, brownies, chocolate truffles, coconut cream pie, New York cheesecake
3. Five things you would do if you were a billionaire: hire security, hunker down in a hotel room, quit cutting my hair and nails, sit around naked, and develop OCD.
4. Three of your habits: sleep, eat, eliminate
5. Five jobs that you've have had: insurance broker, real estate broker, real estate appraiser, tax preparer, accountant, all at the same time
6. Five places that you've lived: Mom and Dad's, dorm room, apartment, newly constructed house, Victorian house
7. Five things that you did yesterday: slept, ate, eliminated, worked, showered
8. Five people you would want to get to know more about: More than five - all the people in my blogroll I haven't met in person yet.
9. Abortion: for or against it? for it - until the fetus is old enough to live on its own outside the womb (approx. 26 weeks), but why would any woman wait that long if they don't want the pregnancy
10. Do you think the world would fail with a female president? I didn't know there was such thing as a world president, male or female
11. Do you believe in the death penalty? Can you be 100% certain the person is guilty?
12. Do you wish marijuana would be legalized already? All drugs should be legalized; then we wouldn't be spending billions of dollars on a domestic "war" and prices would fall substantially for those who are stupid enough to want to buy recreational drugs.
13. Are you for or against premarital sex? How old are you?
14. Do you think same sex marriage should be legalized? I believe this is not a sex issue, but a single versus married issue. I advocate eliminating all marital benefits, then single and married people would be treated legally equal and this would not be an issue.
15. Do you think it's wrong that so many Hispanics are illegally moving to the USA? I advocate eliminating all public welfare for residents and non-residents and then this too would not be an issue. Let anyone come who wishes to work and live here. We are a nation built by immigrants.
16. Should the alcohol age be lowered to eighteen? There should be no age limit.
17. Should the war in Iraq be called off? Bring home the troops and send those who voted for it in their place and see how they like it.
18. Assisted suicide is illegal: do you agree? One should be able to make any and all decisions regarding one's own body. It's none of the government's or anyone's business. People should be able to committ suicide in a humane, painless way with assistance if requested.
19. Do you believe in spanking your children? No, they are bigger than I.
20. Do you worry that others will judge you from reading some of your answers? What, me worry? I'm not planning to run for any public office
Monday, March 8, 2010
I always wanted to be the one who sang the low "Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum" at the end of every line.
This song is such an ear-worm that no one could possibly meet up with Mr. Sandman and dream, unless one wishes to dance a quick-step with him.
Now Sandra Bullock is being called "America's Sweetheart."
Sunday, March 7, 2010
I said a weird fact about me was where I put my thumbs when my hands are at rest. I told you wrong. I don't know what I was thinking. My thumbs hide between my second and third fingers, not first and second. Here's proof of it. I still think it's weird.
Hat tip to White Rabbit for finding this gem. See how the commercial was made in the second video.
Aren't you locals ready for a road trip to Corydon, IN?
Courtesy of Sunday Stealing
1. Are you currently in a serious relationship?
No. My marriage is one big comedy act. It's more fun that way.
2. What was your dream growing up?
to be a performer of musical comedy
3. What talent do you wish you had?
Cosmopolitan martini made with raspberry vodka and fresh lime.
Simple Genius - David Baldacci
6. What zodiac sign are you?
I'm a baby boomer - Aquarius, of course
7. Any tattoos and/or piercings? Explain where.
9. What is your favorite sport?
10. Do you have a pessimistic or optimistic attitude?
11. Worst thing to ever happen to you?
gun to my head
12. Tell me one weird fact about you.
When my hands are relaxed, my thumbs rest between my first two fingers
13. Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
Clowns are cute but the guy under the makeup is scary.
14. If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
I'd be five inches taller so I could reach things easier.
15. Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
I'd be your conscience sending you on a guilt trip.
16. Ever been arrested?
17. If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
18. What's your favorite place to hang out at?
Home because I don't get to spend enough time there.
19. Do you believe in ghosts?
22. Biggest pet peeve?
23. In one word, how would you describe yourself?
24. Do you believe/appreciate romance?
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Not every 98 year old suffers from dementia. This one still does the daily Cryptoquote, even with pneumonia., so please don't be condescending and treat him like a child by greeting him with "What's your favorite color?"
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
One day you lose your wallet. Several hours later a Good Samaritan calls and said he found your wallet. You get it back with everything in tact including all the money.
Later that day you're attending a party with approximately 60-75 other guests. You discover a wadded $20 bill on the floor.
Would you keep it since you don't know to whom the money belongs or would you too be a Good Samaritan and try to find the owner?
I know how the real story ended.
I also know what I would have done, but what about you?
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
An elderly relative of mine has been in the hospital and after missing church two Sundays in a row, the minister stopped by my home and inquired about the relative. I explained that he is in the hospital, in isolation, due to his on-going compromised immune system that is currently battling three illnesses at once, including influenza and pneumonia. I explained that visitors were not allowed, that the patient could not reach the phone if called, and even I had not been in the room to visit. A card would be much appreciated if the minister wished to express any get well wishes. The minister said she would be at the hospital the next day and she would drop off a card at the nurses station. Again, I reinterated that the doctors, patient, and family all did not want any visitors in the room, exposing the patient to additional germs that he cannot fight.
And so the "messenger of God", with higher authority than doctors, hospital, patient, and family, ignores all requests and barges right into the patient's room, personally hands him a card, and asks if it's ok to put him on the church prayer list. Apparently God is not understanding or courteous of others. Or perhaps the messenger simply wished to hasten the end of the patient's life so she could get paid for a funeral. The economy is bad, you know.
A number of years ago, a friend was in the hospital for the birth of a child. She was surprised by the unannounced, uninvited visit by a priest, who walked right into her room with a NO VISITORS sign on the door while she was topless, hooked up to a breast pump. Fortunately, my friend wasn't as kind as my elderly relative was to his minister, and she yelled some obscenities to that priest that I'm sure could be heard beyond the heavens.
Even when punched, these preachers don't seem to get the message that they are the ones who are to blame.