"Everything that is really great and inspiring is created by the individual who can labor in freedom" Albert Einstein

"A dame who knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up." Mae West

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Losing my lid

Walking down the alley behind my house on my daily trip to visit my mother, I discovered that a lid was missing from one of my metal garbage cans. The wind had blown pretty hard the night before, so I looked around behind the hedge, in the flowers, peeked into the neighboring yards but found no sign of it.

The lids fit tight, but to further prevent any dexterous animal from removing the lid, we always place a heavy brick on top. The brick was found 5 feet away, not in the front seat of a car with a broken window, but on the ground in some weeds. I should be thankful?

So there was my lonely garbage can sitting there naked, empty because the trash had been picked up a couple days earlier, and completely exposed without its top on.

This is a small town and not that many people still have metal garbage cans, so I'm scouring the town to find the culprit and I'm sure it wasn't Rocky Raccoon or Scooby Doo. What the thief doesn't know is there is a very distinguishing mark on the lid, so I'll know for sure it's mine.

If you're the animal responsible for removing my lid, bring that sucker back. The lid and can belong to each other. They've been together for ten years. Yeah, I know it's probably only worth a couple bucks, but if it's that cheap, was it really worth stealing in the first place? It's not the value, it's the principle. As far as I'm concerned you belong in the can, and I'm not talking trash.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Short people got business

Recently the world’s tallest (7 feet 9 inches) man and the world’s shortest (2 feet 4 inches) man met. The tiny fellow crawled on top of a table in order to shake the hand of the tall guy.

I'm short, but I've never had to stand on a table to shake hands with someone tall. I have gotten a crick in my neck from social conversations with tall people at parties. You get to be a pretty good acrobat when you're short: climbing onto the kitchencounter to get something out of the cabinet, hoisting your body weight on the grab bar to get up into the pickup truck, jumping up and down so you can see over the heads and shoulders at sporting events, sitting with your legs tucked under your body as a booster seat at the movie theater.

There are some dangers as a short person. Sometimes your feet dangle in the air when you're sitting in a chair. This is especially difficult if you're sitting on a bar stool and the foot rest is 3-5 inches away from your foot. I have been known to fall out of a bar stool before I've even had one drink. You’re welcome to use that as an excuse, too.

Physical shortcomings make you adapt. For example, I try to avoid crowds as much as possible. It's claustrophobic for a small person trapped in sea of much taller people. Besides, I get rather tired of smelling armpits and rear ends.

I am now officially the shortest person in my extended family. My daughters passed me up a decade ago and the youngest nephew hit that goal at age 12. I quit growing at 13. Now I'm facing the fact that I'll probably be shrinking in the coming years. I'm melting, I'm melting! Yet I’m looking forward to being the little old lady behind the wheel of the car that looks like it is driving itself.

I have discovered a couple good things about being short. First, people think short women are younger than they are. This was a problem when I was 25, but in middle age it gives me great joy. Another thing I discovered was that a whole bunch of really sexy women are/were short - Mae West (4'11"), Elizabeth Taylor (5'2"), Dolly Parton (5'), Susan Lucci (5'2"), Marilyn Monroe (5'4'), and Scarlet Johansson (5'4"). I like to think of myself as halfway between Dolly and Liz with half the wit of Mae.

My husband is always singing "Short People Got No Business" to taunt me, despite knowing that I've managed several businesses simultaneously during the past three decades. I just respond with my favorite saying, "Dynamite comes in small packages." We may just look like little sticks, but boy can we make an impact when our fuses are lit.

Monday, July 21, 2008

There are some good chick flicks

Since I got on the subject yesterday about how much I hate chick flicks, I'm going to have to back-pedal a bit. I do have a few favorites that are sometimes included in the chick flick genre, but I know for a fact that many men like these movies, too and I have even seen some male eye-tearing (not eye-rolling) or laughing with the ladies at the theatre while watching some of these:

1. Shirley Valentine
2. Bridges of Madison County
3. Remains of the Day
4. Jackie Brown
5. Sense and Sensibility
6. Bridget Jones's Diary
7. Breakfast at Tiffany's
8. Alien

There are probably more I enjoy, but my brain isn't functioning properly with "Dancing Queen" still rolling around in my head.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Better than Mamma Mia!

If you're looking for another movie better than "Mamma Mia!" using contemporary music as part of the story line, rent "Across the Universe." It was in theaters last fall and it features 33 Beatles songs. The storyline reflects the world during the 1960's time period of the music. Directed by Broadway's Julie Taynor (The Lion King), it has stunning visuals, relevant history and social issues, and fantastic music, with cameo appearances from Salma Hayek, Bono, Eddie Izzard, and Joe Cocker.

OMG Mamma Mia!

Last night the theaters for "Dark Knight" were packed, so we settled for "Mamma Mia!" which was also on our list, based upon its successful Broadway run and some bloggers' recommendations.

Meryl Streep's acting was great as usual. The Abba music was good and typically ear-wormable. Other than that, this was just another stupid chick flick. I put this in the same category as "Thelma & Louise" and "Bonneville." I'm not sure why people have been known to dance in the aisles at the end of the Broadway show, unless they were just happy it was over.

One reviewer had said the Meryl Streep was 20 years too old for the part, and I really didn't understand that comment since Streep and I are approximately the same age, and I have a daughter in her early twenties, too. After viewing the production, I see where he was coming from.

There was definitely a time/age problem. If the time period was supposed to be the present, then Donna would have been 38 when her child was born. That part is realistic, but it doesn't accurately reflect the back story of Donna having a child at a very young age and Donna's mother kicking her out of the house. It also doesn't reflect the flashbacks of the 1970's hippy looks of the three lovers.

If the time period was supposed to be twenty years after the 1970's, then Donna, her friends, and three lovers are ALL 20 years too old for their parts, since all of them are in their 50's.

Roger Ebert often says that a good movie can overcome illogic. If the audience can suspend belief, then one can enjoy a film and overlook these improbabilities. I just couldn't do that with this movie.

Besides the whole thing was stupid. Perhaps my friends and I are from a different world, but I had a difficult time identifying with these three women.

Personally, I liked Streep's character better in "Bridges of Madison County " and Julie Walters' character in "Educating Rita." Christine Baranski seems to play the same character from "Cybil" in everything she does. Pierce Brosnan was miscast. Colin Firth is always lovable. Stellen Skarsgard, an obvious tribute to the Swedish roots of Abba, seemed misplaced and shallow compared to his other greater roles in "Breaking the Waves" and "Hunt for Red October."

Overall, I'd say skip the theater on this one and watch it on DVD if you're into chick flicks.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

How I spent my summer vacation

Well, not really. Truth is, I haven't been on a vacation for 17 years. I have been away from blogging for a while. Here's what I've been doing the past three weeks:

- had a 4 day visit from daughter #1 from San Fran, CA

- dug out seven large 50 year old yews in front of my office and replanted new shrubs & flowers

- assisted plumber in installing new 1/2 bath fixtures at home by helping carry old toilet down flight of stairs

- spent July 4th 3-day weekend in bed with sprained back due to yews and toilet

- had a 4 day visit from brother-in-law and wife from Los Angeles

- did approximately 25 hours of volunteer work and about 6 days of actual billable work

- roamed around a flea market and grocery store

- sh*t, shaved, and showered

- blah, blah, blah

And now you know what I've been up to. Aren't you sorry you asked?